I just found this at my local library, and I was surprised I hadn't heard of it before. Now that I've seen it, I can see why it had gone unnoticed. Featuring a cadre of the main actors from "Greenfingers" and "Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels", when the opening credits rolled and I saw "Based on the film 'The Longest Yard'", I went "Uh oh". Being an American, is it unpatriotic of me to say I this is nearly the equal of the original? Of course, there's very few movies with Burt Reynolds that are worth more than a glance("Deliverance" being a huge exception). While "The Longest Yard" tried to be so hip and anti-establishment, "Mean Machine" is just fun, and we get to see David Kelly play a sweet old fart. Now there's a surprise, but he's so good at it! One-time sex symbol David Hemmings gets a big nod just for his eyebrows, which are massive, but he has this air of barely-controlled rage that I always enjoy, such as in "Last Orders", and I enjoyed seeing Vinnie Jones with long hair. Hey, it's only about an inch long, but that's long compared to most of his roles. There's some pathos, a tiny bit of sex, and some barely-adequate, mostly slapstick & boots in the groin humor. My favorite funny bit was the football commentary by Bob & Bob(Jason Flemyng & Jake Abraham), and the fact the guards' side wore kit that looked like Barstoneworth United("Ripping Yarns"- "Golden Gordon") All in all, as a prison movie, this is no "Green Mile". It's barely up with "Lucky Break". As a soccer/football movie, it's no "Goal!", but it's better than what I'd expect "Soccer Dog" was. It's fun, I was entertained, and that's not a bad thing. The only truly terrible thing is it forced me to look back at the work of Burt Reynolds for this review.
Review of Mean Machine
