doubledownkid Reviews

Revolver (2005)

Confused........You Will Be

[1/10 · 23 September 2005]

I don't think I've ever felt this let down by a film before. After loving Guy Ritchie's two previous films (I don't count Swept Away - he was pussy blind), I was so looking forward to seeing this.

The reviews were poor, then again, I don't trust the press anyway. More worrying was the fact that the internet buzz was that this was a bit of a stinker, so it was with some trepidation I handed over my £4.80 yesterday afternoon.

I'm not even going to try to explain this film, mainly because I haven't got a clue what was going on and at one point I was honestly close to standing up and asking if it was just me who didn't get it!

Unfortunately I think Ritchie seems to have fallen into his wife's trap of taking himself far too seriously.It seems it wasn't good enough for him to make films with good plots, laughs, snappy dialogue and good characters. It's almost as if he had a checklist of films he wanted to rip off, here are some of the ones I noticed:

The Matrix, Fight Club, Kill Bill, The Usual Suspects, Vanilla Sky...

I think the most frustrating thing is that the performances from the two main actors, Jason Statham and Ray Liotta, were actually very good and it was really the self indulgent story and editing / direction that let the film down.

So a big, big thumbs down from me.

The Birthday (I) (2004)

Avoid This Like The Plague - It Stinks!!!!!!!!!!!

[1/10 · 24 February 2005]

Like most of the other people who reviewed this I saw it at the Sitges Film Festival.

There were many reasons why this film was appealing to me. As a fan of mid '80s American teen films I was looking forward to a movie featuring the return of Corey Feldman which was described as being like an HP Lovecraft story directed by David Lynch.

Unfortunately the only positive I took from this film was that I now know that I have seen the worst film I have ever, and will ever see in my life. The acting was shocking. In particular Feldman's decision for his character to be some kind of Jerry Lewis style retard was just embarrassing and had me cringing from the first minute.

The story, or supposed story, is that Feldman's character is attending his upper class girlfriend's father's birthday party at a swanky hotel which also just happens to be where some religious fanatic types are just waiting for the re-birth of their god which will signal the end of the world (I'm not kidding, either) and it's up to Feldman to save the day.

I can't criticise this film enough. It was self-indulgent film making at it's worst and the financiers, cast and crew should be ashamed of themselves.

If you go to watch this, you're an idiot. If you liked it, you're an idiot. And if you are Corey Feldman or Eugenio Miro or any of the cast or crew you should turn your backs on film making and go and work in your local McDonalds.