The Birthday (I) (2004)
1/10
Avoid This Like The Plague - It Stinks!!!!!!!!!!!
24 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Like most of the other people who reviewed this I saw it at the Sitges Film Festival.

There were many reasons why this film was appealing to me. As a fan of mid '80s American teen films I was looking forward to a movie featuring the return of Corey Feldman which was described as being like an HP Lovecraft story directed by David Lynch.

Unfortunately the only positive I took from this film was that I now know that I have seen the worst film I have ever, and will ever see in my life. The acting was shocking. In particular Feldman's decision for his character to be some kind of Jerry Lewis style retard was just embarrassing and had me cringing from the first minute.

The story, or supposed story, is that Feldman's character is attending his upper class girlfriend's father's birthday party at a swanky hotel which also just happens to be where some religious fanatic types are just waiting for the re-birth of their god which will signal the end of the world (I'm not kidding, either) and it's up to Feldman to save the day.

I can't criticise this film enough. It was self-indulgent film making at it's worst and the financiers, cast and crew should be ashamed of themselves.

If you go to watch this, you're an idiot. If you liked it, you're an idiot. And if you are Corey Feldman or Eugenio Miro or any of the cast or crew you should turn your backs on film making and go and work in your local McDonalds.
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