Albino Rhino Reviews

The Brotherhood (2001 Video)

If you are looking for comments on the worst movie of all time, you just found them.......

[1/10 · 13 November 2000]

I have a style for watching movies. I try to find stuff in them, or "points", that make me glad I am watching this movie. This is the first movie I have ever watched that didn't have any points. This is the worst thing ever to be called a film, and I have seen "I, Zombie." If it isn't the terrible acting job done by most of the cast, then it is the horrible "special" effects (It's always lightening but never raining). The movie has plot holes and one of the longest, most useless scenes in movie history (You will know what it is if you watch this waste of film). In the end you are left with $3.50 less in your pocket and a reason to boycott movies forever. If you think I am being over-dramatic, then go to your local video store and pick-up the abomination know as "The Brotherhood."

Clerks (2000–2001)

I'm hooked after just one episode..........

[1 June 2000]

I know I should see more of the shows before I write anything about it, but who cares? I know it was different from the movie and I know there wasn't any "cursing", but I thought it still hit home. The show, like The Simpsons and The Family Guy, was unpredictable and witty. I hope some other company picks this show up and does better things with it then ABC did. The anime ending was one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile. Kevin Smith needs to be applauded for doing such a great a job with something that ABC didn't even seem to want. Kudos to you, Dr. Smith!

I Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain (1998)

A Chronic of Pain.....in the ass!

[1/10 · 8 March 2000]

This is the worst movie ever made. The production was crappy and the plot, while innovative, was weak and slow. I am huge fan of zombie movies and Fangora magazine. When I heard they were making a movie I thought "Wow! I bet that is gonna rawk!" When I finally seen it I changed my tune. It was a great idea but it was executed poorly. I don't want some "thinking man's zombie" that cries when he kills people. Maybe I am spoiled by such horror greats as "Dawn of the Dead" and "Dead Alive" but I want more than one whiney, tree-hugging, zombie bitch-boy. When the best part of your movie is a man pulling off his dong because he won't give up the "thing" he loves, then you need to put it back in its little film can and throw it in the river with Hoffa. This is a horrible movie and every copy needs to be burned before someone in the future gets ahold of it and thinks that we were all loved crying, masturbating zombies. I wouldn't want that on my consience, would you? HA!