Dickie(see, it sounds dirty! Isn't that hilarious? No? Then this isn't for you) used to be a child star(and this has a bunch of them, because... they didn't read the script and realize how devoid of dignity it is when dealing with their situation), and when he was six(by the way, his catchphrase was almost a swear... and that's funny, because it's taboo... *sigh*), the show is cancelled, his mother no longer cares about him, he never knew his father, and, like so many others, he disappears off the radar for years. 30 years later, and he now goes up for a role in a Rob Reiner(who really shouldn't get in front of a camera for any other reason than an interview) film, and the feedback is that he's perfect, except he's not normal enough, because he never had a real childhood. So he hires a family, because the often absent husband(a terribly underused Craig Bierko) agrees to. The mother(Mary McCormack) and the kids(the boy played by young DareDevil, Scott Terra!) aren't happy with that setup, but if you don't see it coming that they'll warm up to him, that he'll be a bad influence at first and then they all learn a warm, fuzzy lesson and all that crap, then you actually *are* dumb enough that this was made for you. I'm not kidding, this literally breaks down and explains several of the already obvious aspects of it... take one guess why he wears gloves all the time? Fear of contact! What else would it be? It's not like that's funny! ...wait, was it supposed to be? Half the time, I can't even completely tell if something was meant as a joke in this or not. He tries to dye his hair, and it didn't come out too well! Laugh, darn you! At one point, a tween girl dances seductively and the audience is not sure how to feel about it
should we chuckle? Be disgusted? If so, at who? Her, the parents, the system that suggests that someone that young should stoop to the lowest common denominator to get undivided attention and get people going? This is a family film(and yet it has content I wouldn't show to someone not at least a teenager... while some of it, they could maybe understand, it shouldn't be this superficial intro to it), as it is the only way they can get away with material this immature(a third of it, even if you like this stuff, falls flat on its face), and yes, this tries to get "entertainment" from cruelty, humiliation, pain, perversity, etc. It uses the Adam Sandler approach(and his company), so we have people getting what they don't deserve, and Spade is mocked incessantly. Yeah yeah
he's not cool, he's weak, he looks like a chick. Ha... ha... ha. There, we good? This has no consequence to several things. The dialog gets really expositiony. This is formulaic as they come(the writing is generally uninspired, and at times extraordinarily inept... some of the leaps in logic this requires may qualify you as Superman), and the ending(that comes after a little less than 90 minutes, thank goodness... not sure how much longer I'd have lasted) actually undoes the moral of the story. It's not the least watchable...thing out there, though. There is the amount(not an awful lot) of moderate to strong language that passes for PG-13 in this. The DVD comes with two informational(not to be confused with interesting
and they aren't terribly self-aware, these people don't seem to realize how low-brow what they're doing is, or at least they aren't ironic about it) commentaries(#1: director Sam Weisman, #2: writer/actor David Spade and writer Fred Wolf), and the following decent(...at best; they're mainly promotional and utterly without comedy) featurettes: 17 and a half minute Reel Comedy: Dickie Roberts, 16m The True Hollywood Story, 12 minute Pencil Dickie: Writing the Story, the 6 and a half minute "Child Stars on Your Television"(because don't you just wanna see *that* again?) extended music video(and the 7 minute behind-the-scenes production on it), 6 and a half minute poor Deleted Scenes, 1 minute Nucking Futs(one of those outtake reels that are so brief and forgettable, you wonder why they even bothered assembling it) and a theatrical trailer. I suppose I recommend this to fans of this kind of thing. Everyone else, steer clear. 5/10
