rochelle-rochelle Review of The English Patient

The English Patient (1996)

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld) was Right On......"It's a stupid movie."

[7/10 · 24 March 2006]

I give this two stars out of ten. All the hype for this movie and it was about three hours of pure boredom and predictability. If you've seen the episode of Seinfeld titled "The English Patient", you know how I feel about The English Patient. I agree with Elaine's view of this movie 100%. (http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheEnglishPatient.html)

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CAROL: Elaine. Elaine, did you just see The English Patient?

GAIL: (tearful) Didn't you love it?

LISA: How could you not love that movie?

******ELAINE: How about, it sucked?********

Blaine gives Elaine a strange look.

(later on the episode)

LISA: We just saw The English Patient again.

GAIL: It's even better the second time.

********ELAINE: They make it longer?***********

ELAINE: I thought you were busy tonight.

BLAINE: (cold) Well, to tell you the truth Elaine. I don't know if I can be with someone who doesn't like The English Patient.

******* ELAINE: It's just a stupid movie.**********

========================================================== That's the bottom line - it's a stupid movie. I thought I was missing out on something by not liking it, but apparently I wasn't the only one. I even tried renting it after it came on video and it was still boring and long and slow.

If you want an action, packed, edge-of-your-seat, emotion-packed love story - DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!!! You will be let down, disappointed and bored!!!

That being said, I still adore Ralph Fiennes. Put movie on mute and watch it and you got some good eye candy there.