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Reviews
Gojira tai Mekagojira (1974)
Average Godzilla
Again with the gore! Why does it have blood spurting, at least make it blue or anything but red, there's just no need. Anyway it's another fun film, there are two new kaiju and that is always appreciated. They are both cool kaiju too, one fast and the other explosive. The human fighting is surprisingly intense but that probably comes slightly because the camera is way too shaky, even too shaky at other times. We had the cockroach aliens, now we have the gorilla aliens. Goriliens we called them. This is the first time that we got a good representation of the scale of a kaiju, the shot showed people wandering around the feet and then slowly tilted up to see the head of the monster. There is a scene that was probably meant to be night but the sky was blue and cloudy which totally confused the intention. There sadly wasn't any city-smashing after the opening battle.
The 5th Wave (2016)
Forgettable and unlikeable
Not only is this generic and forgettable but it also suffers from perplexing and unlikable film making decisions. It's a stereotypical American Hollywood lack of imagination throughout. The lead actress Chloë Grace Moretz can act but does not look like she survived an apocalypse let alone five of them, her hair is just too perfect, plus she looks and acts too old to be a school student. They initially frame it from her perspective but they shift it to anyone's perspective and that is disjointed. There are many plot holes like the first two waves seem pretty pointless compared to the third, only being able to detect t in children makes no sense, how do they have 'intelligence' on these aliens, if the aliens take over human bodies then how do they act like that person, feels like they'd act very differently. And many more, I realise they explain some of this in the film but at the time it really takes you out of the experience. The scene where the army came made my eyes roll so many times, so many issues. I think I rolled my eyes more times than any other film I've seen. Couldn't they think of a better name for the aliens? It's quite slow and largely predictable, it could have been a great 15 minute short. The special effects are only okay. The dark sections are too dark. There is no real conclusion. Don't bother.
Gojira tai Megaro (1973)
Jet Jaguar!
The non-kaiju action was pretty entertaining so long as you don't take it seriously but if you've made it this far then you're not taking it seriously. Biggest problem is that there are a noticeable number of reused shots and because of this it randomly switches between day and night during a scene. Some shots were used multiple times within this film too. There is a really cool dam destruction scene though. Jet Jaguar is an interesting new character, certainly feels fresh. There is some violence that is unwelcome that just feels like it shouldn't be in the film. Oddly enough there is a tiny bit of nudity too which really was not necessary!
Death Note (2017)
Loved it, unaware of the original
I'll start by warning you that I haven't seen the original that this is based on, I didn't even realise it was based on something else until the end credits. Maybe that helped my enjoyment. Initially it felt like a darker version of Final Destination (2000) and I quickly realised that it is its own fascinating entity. On a production front everything is perfect because it is well made but also it feels original, at no point did I feel this was copying something. Everything from the amazing sound design and beautiful music with stunning cinematography and production design. The writing is excellent with well drawn and interesting characters that are perfectly acted. The pacing is also excellent with an unpredictable story. Even though this is based on something else, to me it felt very original throughout. This also has one of the best foot chases I've ever seen in a movie. Well, what didn't I like? There was some convenience like how the boy's father was the detective investigating the case and some of the rules in the book felt like they were there for the story. And that's about all I didn't like. This is a perfectly entertaining, engaging and conceptually interesting film. I loved it.
Chikyû kôgeki meirei Gojira tai Gaigan (1972)
Second favourite so far
This has become my second favourite Godzilla movie so far after Destroy All Monsters (1968). There is a lot of city smashing and it goes on for ages which is great. There are also lots of monster fights and we get an awesome new space monster called Gigan! Some of the shots/scenes are repeated from previous films which is a shame but doesn't detract too much. Some people might not even notice. The non-monster scenes have a story and it's engaging. The music is normal, not too crazy. Apart from the stock footage my only gripes are that they didn't give the aliens a cool name like Xiliens or The Kilaaks and we got translations when Godzilla and Anguirus were talking to each other.
The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)
Forgettable but not bad
Admittedly this is pretty unoriginal but I actually enjoyed it because it has a great tone and atmosphere. It reminded me of The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005) but it's a much more entertaining film. There are some great set-pieces. It's a well-made production. The acting is good. The characters are a bit dull and forgettable. So it's not memorable or bad. I really don't have much to say but it's a good forgettable horror. Honestly it's certainly not bad and there are far worse possession movies, it just suffers before it has nothing especially memorable or different about the film, possession by the numbers.
Gojira tai Hedora (1971)
Cool new monster
This started with a lot of promise. The new monster is pretty cool and it has different evolution stages which also makes it more interesting. There are some truly bizarre moments too. There isn't that much exciting monster action though, the second half of the movie is really slow and repetitive. It's just not as entertaining Destroy All Monsters (1968) by a long shot. There isn't enough city smashing and the second half is boring. Okay so much as I loved the monster, I didn't love the film itself. To some extent at this point in the franchise it does feel a bit like churning films out rather than making them amazing.
The Maze Runner (2014)
Not bad...
This suffers from having a less interesting world than The Hunger Games (2012), less charm than Cube (1997) and far less originality than Dark City (1998). Whilst it is not a bad film it is also nothing special or memorable. The casting, direction, acting and overall production quality are excellent it is let down by slow world building, mostly forgettable characters and an unoriginal story. It's worthy of your time but probably only once and if you have nothing else you want to watch. So feel free to load this onto your television, sit back and watch it as that is the most I can say about it.
Gojira Minira Gabara Ôru kaijû daishingeki (1969)
Least favourite
This is easily my least favourite so far and arguably the worst movie of the series. The cheesy music is back but this time it's more annoying and out-of-place and not fun like before. The opening theme tune is pretty funny though. It's a very short film and most of the monster action was in previous films. Even though it's short, it feels slow. The story doesn't really make sense but it's not so silly it's entertaining either. Why on earth is Minilla now able to talk and the same size as a human boy? But he can also get big when he wants. The new fight scenes are pretty bad. I did like Gabara though. And the Home Alone (1990) vibe was fun. Watch for completeness but not for entertainment.
Run (2020)
Didn't hate it
I really didn't like the direction, so many disengaging moments because they weren't believable that really took my out of the experience. It didn't help that it is so slow, so very slow. The acting was good though. I'm sure this could have been a 20 minute segment of an anthology and actually been good but as a full length feature the concept is too stretched. Within each scene the actions are repeated, and then the scenes are repeated, it very much a rinse and repeat movie. It made me think of a cross between Bubble Boy (2001) and Misery (1990). Some of the exterior car driving effects looked fake otherwise the film looked and sounded excellent. The tense scenes don't have much tension, they really felt like they are lacking any actual threat or danger. I didn't hate the movie and I certainly didn't love it, there are some nice ideas and on the whole it's well made. But because it's so slow I'm marking it down to just below average.
Kaijû sôshingeki (1968)
Favourite so far
This is definitely my favourite Godzilla movie so far. There are a lot of monsters including new ones. Manda might even be my favourite! It has a more serious tone, well when compared to the previous few Godzilla movies anyway. There is some great monster melee action. The city destruction is awesome although there could have been more of it like in other cities eluded to near the start. This is what a Godzilla movie should be about, a semi-serious tone with some ludicrous moments, new monsters, lots of monster melee and plenty of city smashing. It's worth noting that this is the most gory so far but obviously nothing compared to a horror movie.
Creep (2014)
Unoriginal and boring
I really did not like this film for so many reasons. For starters, it is a post-Blair Witch Project (1999) found-footage style film with little imagination or anything to make it stand out from so many similar movies. For seconds, it is not a patch on Creep (2004) which isn't the best film in the first place. The main character is a man-child and that gets really annoying really quickly. I would be embarrassed if he were my dad. The film is boring with bad pacing. The jump-scares are forced in and did not make me jump at all. I really wonder how and why on earth they made a sequel. Towards the end of the film it becomes legitimately stupid. If I had to compare it to anything then it would be The Last Broadcast (1998), but that film is significantly better and more original.
Kaijûtô no kessen: Gojira no musuko (1967)
Silly fun
This is very similar to the previous film, Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966). They both have a good pace, set on an Island (so no city smashing) and monster fighting action with inappropriate music. The non-monster story is not quite as ridiculous as Ebirah but the monster story is way more silly. Silliness is fun in these films. Entertaining, similar to previous film and difficult to decide which I prefer between the two. Back to this normal problem of having to add extra characters to a review that has already covered everything that I want to say about the film, stop reading this is not interesting.
Lo squartatore di New York (1982)
Brutal but nothing special
This is not a scary film. It is a gory film. One really brutal scene made me wince so much. It is a little difficult to stomach in places. It didn't really make me jump in any places. I didn't care about the story and the duck noises were really distracting from the seriousness. It was a bit predictable. Nice gore and not the worst movie in the world but still lacking comedy or deep fear or anything other than gore. I don't have much to say about this film which says that it is really nothing special. It's good that the gore is all done practically in a time before CGI gore which is a good time.
Janghwa, Hongryeon (2003)
Solid enough
This had really great cinematography. It looked really good. The sound was a bit sparse but was there for just the right amount when it was really needed so the quieter scape actually isn't really a negative. I didn't totally get the story, possibly because I didn't know their names or what they looked like but that didn't spoil my pretty scared viewing pleasure. I guess that's on me for not really paying attention. It did make me jump and it made me jump well. Worth looking at for a solid setup to scare someone! It was a bit slow at the start and sometimes in the middle though. This looked and sounded fantastic. There were really scary bits and a confusing story.
Gojira · Ebira · Mosura Nankai no daikettô (1966)
Favourite so far
This is my favourite Godzilla movie so far and that is because it has the best pacing. It is a ludicrous movie and is so sixties in style that it hurts. It is ridiculous and cheesy fun throughout. The story and character decisions are so unbelievable and unrealistic but that adds to the enjoyment. It's not a film to be taken seriously. Sadly there is no city destruction but you get enough miniatures and monster action that you don't miss it too much. The effects are the best so far which helps. The newly introduced monster, Ebirah, is actually pretty cool. The music is so inappropriate that it is laughable and, again, adds to the entertainment.
Brightburn (2019)
Entertaining enough
I enjoyed this film on the whole. It is incredibly gory and very hard to watch because of this. The super villain thing has been done to death and this doesn't really do much to help that. So that is my main complaint, that the superhero special powers are invading horror and I'm bored of that concept. The characters are pretty dull and forgettable so focussing on them for most of the film seems like a waste of time. What you really want is the chaos that they promise but this never materialises. When there is limited chaos this film is at its most entertaining. Hopefully if they do make a sequel they can fulfil the chaos and make good on this overly long setup.
Kaijû daisensô (1965)
Silly great
This is full of so many silly moments but also some great moments. It has the best city smashing scene so far. The alien nonsense is so silly and that makes it so fun. There are no new monsters involved and there are only really two scenes where these giant monsters appear but the big battle that destroys the city and the goofy aliens more than makes up for any issues. So again I find myself watching another entertaining but flawed kaiju movie with not a lot to say about it and still having to write enough to meet the minimum number of characters on IMDb, another few words and there will be enough.
Time Trap (2017)
Time Cave
There is something engaging about this when it probably shouldn't be engaging. It has a certain charm and good pace, overall anyway, that holds your attention. The negatives are pretty plain to see, from annoying characters, below average acting, stereotypical and unimaginative characters. Actually I'd compare the acting to a soap opera style of repeating lines with contorted faces so this can be blamed on bad casting. I didn't like the cinematography. What I did like was the story, pace and direction, this is what made this engaging. There are some plot holes and logic gaps but nothing you can't justify with a stretch of the imagination. Except maybe that only a handful of people have ever been to the site in the history of man and have trapped there which seems unbelievable. The title probably should have been Time Cave. Anyway I'm digressing, the fight choreography and cinematography is pretty bad, the exciting moments are actually a bit stale which is a shame. The cave men with underpants and perfect teeth are distracting. The pacing fails in the second half but picked up again at the end. Overall perfectly watchable but nothing special.
San Daikaijû Chikyû Saidai no Kessen (1964)
Enjoyable expansion
For the first melee kaiju film there really isn't enough melee in it. Also the ending is a bit disappointing. There is not enough city smashing. The story is pretty crazy and engaging but there simply isn't enough giant monster action. Ghidorah is my favourite so I certainly enjoyed the movie and the expansion of the universe to include aliens is appreciated. There were some really funny and goofy moments and it is enjoyable enough but probably slightly, very slightly, less entertaining than King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962) but it's fairly close. The evolution of the franchise is interesting but slow.
Freaks (2018)
Unique but flawed
The setup is very slow but when it gets into the main story it's much more compelling. There are still moments even in the best parts of the film where the pacing is uneven. The acting is really great, especially the main girl, played by Lexy Kolker. The film has a lot of charm and is probably more memorable than it should be. Some of the special effects are pretty cheesy like a bad Marvel film. The whole super villain/hero concept has nothing new but this does try to tell a different story with it. I'm a bit torn on this film and the ending really amplifies that feeling of being unsure whether I like it or not. The ending is satisfying and disappointing at the same time. So even though it is not perfect it is charming, unique and interesting and will remain in my mind longer than it probably deserves. It's not a bad film as it does have some great ideas but it is just too inconsistent to recommend overall.
Mosura tai Gojira (1964)
Dated
Building on the standalone Mothra (1961) movie and bringing it into the Godzilla universe makes for a very entertaining movie. It borrows from the King Kong (1933) story but adds little fairies and really cements Mothra as one of my favourite Kaiju. The effects are so cheesy and look really dated but this is part of the fun. Even the tiny fairies are fun. The story is pretty unimaginative but rumbles along without getting boring. The monster fight is very fun. In my marathon session of watching every Godzilla movie I don't always have a lot to write but still have to meet the IMDb 600 character limit.
Case 39 (2009)
Below average
This starts with a dull and unengaging setup. Then it becomes a pretty slow and typical evil child film. It's not bad as such, just pretty dull. When the girl starts showing signs of evil it gets much more interesting but this is like half-way through the movie. One of the most off-putting parts is the casting of the adults. Renée Zellweger and Bradley Cooper don't seem right for their roles at all and were probably only cast because their attachment will bring viewers. The evil girl though is very good in the film and almost certainly is the only reason to watch this movie. Jodelle Ferland really did carry the movie. Overall it does the horror badly and the psychological thriller aspect badly. It's not a bad film, it's just below average. The special effects were weaker than they should have been even for the time it was made.
Kingu Kongu tai Gojira (1962)
Best so far
This is the best so far. It is pretty darn crazy. It is wildly different to the first two films and is far more watchable because of this. The moments without kaiju are far more entertaining and engaging because it is so crazy and unexpected. There are goofy characters and fast paced silly decisions. It's significantly more entertaining and looks much better but it's not great, the craziness makes it more entertaining but doesn't make it good. So much as it's an improvement, it is different. Giant monsters fighting and destroying stuff never gets tired. So far it's the best but there is better to come.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Hard to invest in the characters
It's hard to pinpoint why this isn't a better film. It has all the elements, well paced, beautifully made, exciting, gory and some original elements but it all comes together to fall very short of Dawn of the Dead (2004) and the original Romero trilogy. It even falls short of Land of the Dead (2005) which it actually feels quite similar to. Thankfully it is vastly better than the latter Romero of the dead films. So it starts with a really good opening scene, beautiful and engaging, so beautiful. The ending is also excellent. The production quality is incredibly high with great music, cinematography, effects and sound design. So what is wrong with this film? For me the biggest issue was the lead character and the casting choice. I get that he had to be big for the story but he's the character and the way he's played is so uncharismatic and unengaging that you're not invested in their plight, the lead character should do the opposite. None of the characters are nice people so I didn't find myself engaged in their survival. Sometimes the film is a little boring and I think that's because it is a bit pretentious like the director didn't want to make another zombie film. I appreciate how they tried to expand zombie lore but ultimately I didn't like the expansion, it should be about the people and not the zombies evolving. Overall it's hard to say exactly why I didn't like this more, it has some great elements and ideas but it falls flatter than it should because it doesn't have a soul.