Weaselsarefree Reviews

In the Mind of the Damned (2014)

Good in certain parts (spoilers)

[4/10 · 27 April 2019]

This is an odd one, I saw it on a few top lost films list, and apparently the was found. The movie is essentially several vignettes which are out of sequence and interconnected, sometimes loosely. I'll go over them one by one:

Two college hippies drop acid together, one is inexperienced and has a breakdown. He starts having visions of a good spirit and a bad spirit. He had previously been seeing a psychiatrist about some bizarre dreams he has been having which have been fading into his reality.

A police scene: two cops, played by the same actors as he hippies are tracking down a murderer who has been killing college students. One is burnt out and may or may not be involved with the Murders.

A western scene: two cowboys, one a cop and the other a man with a bad reputation as a bounty hunter run into one another at a bar, they talk about a friendship they once had that dissolved due to a woman. It is implied the woman is later killed by a psychopath.

It is loosely implied that the dreams are a result of the acid trip and that everything, including the main character himself exists in some sort of brain in a jar/ hallucination, and that the dreams are caused due to his chronic lack of satisfaction in his life.

Overall, it's pretty bad, and it's obvious they had no budget. They did a good job on the sets and some low budget effects. I think it's fair to say I liked the good and evil spirits a lot. I think if we were going to say the movie has a point it is that the main character had no grasp on himself and this never was satisfied. Therefore, he lives the rest of his life in his, "damned," mind. I like the concept, but it could have been done better.

The Skydivers (1963)

Well. I may as well review them all.

[3/10 · 15 March 2015]

So. Guys. I just finished watching Anthony Cardoza's Hellcats and got to thinking about my buddy Coleman Francis. Over the past two years I've reviewed the Beast of Yucca Flats, and Red Zone Cuba, so I felt that it was just about time to review his other epic: the Skydivers.

You may be asking yourselves (all two of you who will read this) why did I leave this film last? Why didn't I just get all three of Coleman's films out of the way in my quest to review B and Z-grade movies that tickle my fancy in one way or another. Well, the answer my friend is because out of Coley's three films this one is the most dull. Is it still incompetently written and acted? Of course, does it still have all the classic Francis plot points (coffee, light aircraft and etc) yes! Is it as bizarre as the Beast of Yucca Flats or as grandly inept as Red Zone Cuba? Not quite.

Before I divulge more, I would like to dive into the plot a little bit. Harry (Anthony Cardoza) and Beth (Kevin Casey) both own a sky diving school and lack all sense of passion and romanticism in their foundering relationship. You'll notice early on that Harry is a very very dull man. He speaks in a monotone voice that makes you so board you will start to find Gilbert Gottfried's voice sensual by comparison. Harry is cheating on Beth with a woman named Suzi who has a lumpy butt and drives a Thunderbird. Beth is concerned about her ever failing marriage, but after she nearly sleeps with Harry's buddy, realizes that she should totally save her marriage and patch things up with Harry, but not before jealous Suzi pours acid on Harry's parachute killing him.

It was painful writing that description. I mean, I really didn't want to write that. Usually, I have fun writing descriptions about films I enjoyed. But, when there is such a thin plot, it's really hard to actually come up with things that are worth writing. I think that's the biggest problem with the film. The plot is so thin, if you really don't make an effort to stay focused, you'll lose track of what's going on. All of Coleman's films have little to no plot, but usually the movie plays out so bizarrely you're still entertained. Yucca Flats is like a 53 minute time warp that puts you in a trance with it's strange narration and Red Zone Cuba is just so strange and dark you kind of want to watch. Skydivers is just a strange slowly paced movie with no plot.

As always, I will credit Coleman Francis for his bizarre choice in background characters. There's a strange looking man who parades around in a kilt and a man who loves the trill of falling in a skydive so much that he forgets to pull his parachute and a beautiful little appearing by the Author himself as a family man strangely obsessed with watching people jump out of a plane.

In all, this is the weakest of the Coleman trilogy. It isn't as memorable or as beautifully bad as his other two films. And if you don't have the grand ineptness you'd expect from Coleman and instead just have a blank slate, you have a real problem.

Before I go, I just have to mention one thing that has always bothered me about this film: There's a scene where an old army buddy of Harry's meets up with him, and he refers to Harry as having been a, "general," in the Army. Seriously. Are we supposed to believe this? There's no way this boring guy ranked that high in the military only to go on to run some crappy skydiving school in the middle of BFE. Seriously, Coleman, PFC maybe... tops.

The Last Alarm (1940)

A memorable little forgettable film

[7/10 · 26 June 2014]

The Last Alarm Staring, J. Farrell MacDonald and Polly Ann Young is a delightful little 1940s poverty row melodrama, with low frills and a short running time. Not unlike the other Dramas that the Monograms and the Republic pictures were extolling out every month to the general public in the one theatre Saturday morning manatees in years before the war. I write this review under the assumption that if you have wondered to this particular page on the IMDb website you have at least some familiarity of the lower budget pictures of this era.

With that said, I have found that many of these poverty row films have been rather forgettable. The method is always the same. Start with the most basic of a plot and premise, and get some cinematic newbies or washed up old timers to act quickly enough to have the film wrapped in five days. I've seen it several times, and frankly I chose to watch this movie when I was bored one night. I was, however, pleasantly surprised. The film is about an elderly fire fighter who is forced into retirement when he reaches a mature age. The old firefighter, Jim does not want to retire, as fire fighting is his life. He reluctantly collects his pension (when there still was such a thing) and takes it easy for a little while as he settles into his new lifestyle. Unfortunately, trouble is brewing out in the world. A creepy antique store owner by day and arsonist by night is setting fires around the city. During one of these fires Jim's ex firefighting partner and best friend is killed in the blaze. Jim secretly goes out of retirement to hunt for this arsonist.

Without divulging too much into the plot, with it's somewhat, "it's all better now," style ending, The Last Alarm is a very memorable and well acted film. As a b-movie aficionado I have seen and forgotten many many films. However, as of this review it has been two years since I have seen the Last Alarm, and it still sticks out to me. I think one of the key selling points of this movie is with the actor, J. Farrell MacDonald who plays Jim. I believed his acting, I believed his frustration when he was forced into a retirement he didn't want, and I believed his sorrow and hopelessness he projected upon the death of a person who was his work partner for decades. This is of no shock as MacDonald had been playing in movies since even D.W. Griffith was an unknown. The story was interesting, reminding me somewhat of the 1990s firefighting drama, Backdraft. Most of these old Monograph films are romantic melodramas, and while this was a melodrama, it was an interesting story without the cliché romantic overtones. The actor wasn't a young cad trying to whoo a young starlet, it was an old man trying to find out who killed his friend, and re-find his purpose in life.

While technical proficiency and pacing issues do effect this film, it is a winner. And one I could certainty recommend.

The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

Defending the Undefendable

[8/10 · 21 October 2013]

Many years ago I read a review from colleague of mine which exclaimed that the Beast of Yucca Flats was a bad film with no defenders. No one, he said, would ever come to this film's defense and proclaim it to have some special message no one understood, no accidental genius, or no grand ineptness as with films Plan 9 From Outer Space. For years – I agreed. Yucca Flats, after all, was a film with no focus, hardly any dialogue, and a narration that made no sense. I would have gone as far to have said, I hated this movie. It wasn't fun to watch with friends, it didn't make you laugh at its stupidity and it didn't leave you feeling that any real effort was poured into the film.

Recently, however, I decided that I must come to Coleman Francis' defense and give a legitimate review, and honest praise for this movie. This review is a defense of the anti-film, the bad as bad gets. And a story about how I stopped hating and learned to love this cinematic bomb.

Before I divulge into why I feel that this film is a masterpiece, I think I should discuss what the storyline in the film is about: A Russian Scientist, Joseph Javorsky (Tor Johnson) has escaped from behind the iron curtain, deflected to the United States and now wants to help the US defeat the communists by giving data on certain Soviet activities, including, but not limited to, a moon landing and information about the atomic bomb. Before any of this can happen Jovorsky is chased down by two KGB agents, he manages to escape but quickly wanders off into a nuclear bomb testing area right when a test bomb explodes. The resulting fallout turns him into a monster, hungry for blood.

My first realization of this films greatness was in its rewatch factor. I was not content with watching this film once, and while I never felt entertained by it, I never got bored of it either. The bleak desert atmosphere and creepy off handed narration took me into a time warp. This fifty minute film slowed time; in many cases it felt as though hours passed while I watched it. Yet, even now, after having seen it several more times than any sane person ever should admit, I still remain entranced by it. It literally feels like hypnosis.

The second aspect of its greatness lays in Coleman Francis' narration. I never understood what I liked about it so much, but recently on an IMDb forum I think two users helped me come across an answer. The explanations were this: First nearly all of Francis' statements are stated as though they are haikus, i.e. "Flag on the moon – how did it get there?" Secondly, most of these questions posed by Francis could only be answered by the now insane Joseph Jovorsky. The fact that many of Yucca Flat's plot points go nowhere is directly tied to the fact that the one person who holds the answers to the narrator's cannot answer it – he himself is a victim of the Cold War—a genius whose whole entire life was destroyed by the by the American's atomic bomb and the Soviet's spies.

It's interesting to note that Coleman's go to phrase is, "caught in the wheels of progress." He exclaims that nearly everyone in the film is a victim of the atomic age. It's kind of funny, because it seems to be true. Joe Dobbson was wounded parachuting in the Korean War and now works seven days a week with his partner to help protect his community. Because of this, his wife is frustrated, and his town is near a nuclear testing site. Jovorsky is also a victim, his family has been killed, his genius has been used only for the Cold War effort, and he his ultimately killed by the wars biggest symbol – the atom bomb.

The film ends with Jovorsky being gunned down by the two patrolmen. Right before he dies a wild bunny rabbit visits the dying scientist, almost looking concerned for the dying man, the dying man looks at the rabbit, touches is as if finally remembering that he was once a caring man and dies. Leaving us to wonder: perhaps we are all the victims of progress, living in a world much faster, and much more dangerous than ever before.

The Triangle (2001 TV Movie)

Well... I liked it.

[8/10 · 2 September 2013]

This is one of those movies that automatically brings me back to my childhood. I was merely twelve when it came out, and being the horror obsessed preteen that I was, it was a must see every time it came on the television. Recently, I had the opportunity to re-watch this film with a more mature perspective, and I have to say, for what it is, the Triangle still impressed me.

First off let's get the truth of the matter out of the way: this is a low budget made for TV movie. With that said, we are dealing with low budget effects, and less experienced actors and writers. This film, however, manages to provide an interesting story with interesting characters, and a fairly suspenseful atmosphere.

The story itself revolves around four friends, and two tour guides who get trapped in a time warp in the Bermuda Triangle. While stranded they come across a ship that was lost over seventy years ago, when left with no choice to board, the triangle knocks them off one by one. While the plot sounds pretty straight forward initially, there is some complexity to it. We find out early on that one of the main characters if broke and desperate for money despite spending the remainder of his money frivolously in order to appear well to do. While on the ship, the supernatural forces at work in the triangle take advantage of this fact and make him do its evil bidding.

Cheesy as it may be at times, it's difficult to argue that this film is rushed. We are allowed to learn a fairly decent amount about the personalities of each character in the story -- this allows us to care about the characters and build suspense based of empathy. This is especially true of one of the characters who is haunted by the ghost of his deceased younger brother while on the ship.

With all these tongue and cheek made for TV film coming out today (Sharknado and the like) I don't understand why this film isn't getting a little bit more recognition. Is it cheesy? Yes. Is it fun? Yes. Does it still manage to relieved a fun and suspenseful story? You bet!

Recommended. It hasn't been shown on television in years, but if you can track down a copy, give it a shot.

The Sun Was Setting (1951 TV Short)

Absurdest Film, As Only Edward D. Wood, Jr. Can Deliver It.

[8/10 · 19 August 2013]

I was rather intrigued when I first had the opportunity to view this short film by, Mr. Wood. I've been a huge Ed Wood fan for many years, and while I have actively sought out most of his work, many of his earliest T.V. efforts are either lost, unavailable, or extremely difficult to come by. Recently I discovered that his earliest complete (non-commercial) work was freely available on the internet. I jumped at the opportunity to view it.

Initially, I had very low expectations for this film. Other shorts by Ed Wood, which I have had a chance to view were lackluster to say the very least. The Portraits of Terror episode, "The Final Curtain" which was finally rereleased this year was somewhat disappointing, and other works such as Trick Shooting with Keene Duncan, and the earlier Crossroads of Laredo were extremely dull. But, given the Ed Wood name, and the interest I have in his full-length works, I had to at least give this film a shot. What I saw astonished me.

The story revolves around a young woman suffering from an unspecified terminal illness. The illness (presumably a heart defect) has left her house ridden, and her final desire is to go out and have one last night of fun. Despite the fact that going out will only hasten her demise, and against the urging of her best friend, and her lover, she goes out anyways, only to die before leaving her apartment. Depressing, no?

It's interesting to me that in this fourteen minute short, Ed Wood was able to convey some relatively convincing emotions and dramatic gravitas with this simple plot. The film is very much dialogue driven and free from the stock footage montages which we are used to in most of Wood's work. While it may come as a shock to most people, the screenplay and script really work here. The dialogue reminds me a lot of something from a Twilight Zone episode, where the dying character's emotions are explored, as well as the emotions of those around her. The plot, as I mentioned in the title of this review is absurdist in nature. It lacks any sort of hint at deus ex machina, or deep meaning in human life. This woman is going to die young, and her dying wish will not be granted. And no, I am not trolling, but I do have to say this is a thinking film, albeit of the Ed Wood style.

This film's place unfortunately will likely always remain as a footnote to Wood's career, just a small film made before Glen or Glenda?, which coincidentally shares the same soundtrack to this film. While its obscurity is unfortunate, its existence is helpful to Wood apologists, such as myself. You do see legitimate potential in this film, and its young writer/director Edward D. Wood, Jr. It establishes his style, and is quite frankly an eloquently written short worth some of attention other Wood films have achieved.

8/10 a must see.

Red Zone Cuba (1966)

My attempt at an objective review

[22 January 2013]

This review has been a long time coming for me. Most of the reviews I've done on this website are of low budget pictures. The Z and B grade films. There's something about them that appeals to me. It might be because I myself am a filmmaker. I've made one full length film and I know how difficult it can be even to get a shoddy film produced. Of the classic bad directors (Ed Wood, Tom Graffe, Hal Warren, and the like) Coleman Francis may be the most atypically worst. His plots are often rambling and nonsensical, and the production values are lackluster. However, much like many others (I'm sure) who have reviewed this film, his work keeps drawing people back.

Red Zone Cuba is Coleman Francis' opus. Not only is it his last film, but it is his most grand in plot, setup, and story line. The film revolves around Griffin, an escaped convict, and his two drifter sidekicks Cook and Landis. On the search for the almighty dollar, they fight in the Bay of Pigs invasion as soldiers of fortune, and wind up robbing and pillaging the southwest until a shootout ends Griffin's life.

The film contains all the classic Francis elements, coffee, cigarettes, implied assault scenes, closeups, and light aircrafts. The production values as you might expect are poor, as is the dialogue and acting. However, I do feel that this ambitious z-grade film is commendable. Foremost, the plot is, as I said earlier, ambitious. A shoe string budget film that involves an invasion scene, an aircraft shootout and an army training montage is no easy feat. While Francis' final product lacks the polish of a professional film, on the budget he was given I believe the product was fairly well done. His choice of sets is more than acceptable, the army base looks like an army base, the beach looks fairly close of a Cuban beach, and the bleak Yucca Flats setting was perfect for the drab remainder of the film. If I were to shoot a film like Red Zone Cuba, I could conceivably see me hiring Francis as a set director.

My biggest problem with the film is the dialogue. Griffin's character of course is unlikable, there are of course all sorts of films with despicable main characters, Griffin, however is given no depth we don't get to know him, and our hatred is based only on his actions not his psyche. Likewise, we don't get to understand why his sidekicks, Landis and Cook side with him so quickly. I wanted to know more, but was not given the opportunity to given the poor script.

There are sparks of genius in this film. Most often mentioned is the theme song which ties into the overall theme of evil. I also liked the film shot at the end, after the sexual assault scene when Griffin's car drives past the, "where are you going to spend eternity," sign. Small things like this show me that Coleman had at least some potential, I just wish he hired someone else for the script.

Red Zone Cuba is one of those must see bad films. It's an example of a film someone made against all odds, and with few resources. It's availability outside the MST3k version is limited, but worth tracking down. If you like the z-grade check it out.

Copper Mountain (1983 TV Movie)

Awful

[1/10 · 23 November 2012]

So, where do I begin? Copper Mountain. Jim Carrey, Alan Thicke, this should have been good. It wasn't. This movie is an example on how to do everything wrong. I've watched the "classic" bad films, Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) the Beast of Yucca Flats (1960) you name it. These films succeed because they keep bringing me back as a viewer. I know the people involved in making them cared, they wanted to make something great, and they failed. With Copper Mountain. The makers were clearly lazy, and did not care.

The film revolves around two friends, they are played by Alan Thicke and Jim Carrey. Normally I would include the names of the characters, but they really don't matter. You won't remember them anyways. The friends are headed on a vacation to a Club Med resort in the mountains. Carrey's character does not associate well with the opposite sex (By not associate well, I mean is a total embarrassing socially inept moron) and Thicke's character is a want to be cool guy who comes across as a pompous ass. The two take on Copper Mountain and learn a little bit about themselves and life [...]

Okay, I'll level with you. They don't learn anything. This entire movie is filled with lame plot points about Carrey's attempts to flirt with women, and Thicke's lame (very mean) jokes towards people he feels superior to (which in this movie, is basically the entire world). Aside from this, Copper Mountain is filled half with lame plot, and half with watching people play music at the film resort.

This is what kills the film. I can deal with a socially inept main character, or maybe even a pompous one. But, the fact that half the film is really just music videos is what kills it. This is where the director gets lazy. As a film maker myself, I can understand how it goes. You have a demand from a film company, and they want a film of a certain length. So, to fill the time you leave entire musical performances in the film that have nothing to do with the plot. This works for making the film longer, but it kills the film in every conceivable way.

Foremost, the film no longer is about your characters. The viewer gets lost in watching the music. Most film goers, want to find out what ends up happening to the main characters, even if it is a bad film. In Copper Mountain, the viewer gets too distracted by the prolonged music videos. I lost track of why I cared about Carrey's character, and why I hated Thicke's (even though I was supposed to like his character).

What is boils down to is that I forgot why I even watched this. I like terrible low budget films. I watched this because it was a terrible low budget film. At the end of the day, I was really just watching some lame 1980s music videos, mixed in with some poorly written characters. Lame music videos and lame characters can fit into a world of their own. Mix them together so that the viewers forgets why they cared about either, and you have an epic failure. That's what Copper Mountain is. An Epic failure. I don't recommend it to my worst enemy, neither should you.

Journey to Freedom (1957)

Could Be a Lot Better, But I Keep Coming Back Just the Same

[4/10 · 16 May 2012]

Let's place ourselves back in time for a few moments. It's the 1950s, the red scare is in full swing, McCarthyism is rampant, and cheep B- movies are in their heyday. It is during this time you take your brand new '57 Chevy out to the drive in with your significant other and the first film comes on. 'Journey to Freedom,' is the title and your anxious for the main feature to start, but feel optimistic about this title with its intense theme song and use of appropriate stock footage. However, as the film continues, I believe that your optimism would begin to wane as you realize that the film you are viewing is just okay, and not the spectacular Cold War epic you were hoping for.

With the context for this film set, allow me to divulge into the plot. The story follows a young Bulgarian refugee named Stephan (Jacques Scott) and his two friends on their escape from the clutches of their tyrannical government who frequently jailed and beat the trio for their anti-communist views. The story focuses on Stephan who manages to make it country to country until finally reaching his destination in America where he is an active member in an Anti-Communist group.

During this time, Stephan settles down in his new American life. He gets married, becomes an active member of his community and seems to have finally made his exodus from the clutches of tyranny. However, getting away from communism, for Stephan, isn't all that easy. During his time in America the commies continue to try to hamper his success, especially because of his continual attempts to fight the Bulgarian government even after his exile. These attacks on Stephan are a mainstay of the film, demonstrating that life does not instantly get easier for refugees and that life after communism is a constant struggle.

Outwardly, Journey to Freedom has a great deal going for it. The film, after all, was written by a man who shared a similar life to Stephen in the film, director Stephen C. Apostolof of Ed Wood fame, giving it a genuine feel the whole way through. Furthermore, the film is generally well acted, while it isn't Shakespeare, I've seen a lot worse acting in 1950s B films. And finally, the plot isn't full of preachy patriotic dribble, it tells a legitimate story from the perspective of a refugee from behind the Iron Curtain. Where this film falls short is in its pacing, a problem which really makes this film difficult to watch at times. The different scenes in the film do not flow particularly well, and the plot is explained through dialogue rather than actions.

With this said, I keep coming back to this film. Another reviewer of this title stated that this film is more interesting because of its history rather than because of its own merit. I agree with this. The history I believe that this reviewer is discussing is the both Apostolof's personal connection to the film, and perhaps more importantly its Ed Wood Connection i.e. Tor Johnson, William Thompson, and Aspotolof. For me personally, that may be why I keep coming back to this time. As a lover of 1950s B movies, and films with a larger historical context, that might also explain why I like it so much. Rather or not you will like the film or not really depends on you; if you don't care about the history, Tor Johnson, or B films, I doubt you'll find much here worth viewing.

As a nod to my colleague who also reviewed this film, I agree fully that this film would have gathered a few more stars if it would have had Tim Farrell in it, but I digress.

In all, slightly recommended if you have read the reviews and know what 50s B-films are like.

All the Kind Strangers (1974 TV Movie)

A 1970s Made for TV Surprise

[6/10 · 8 April 2012]

While not the most entertaining film in the world, "All the Kind Strangers" delivers the viewer an interesting look into the made for TV horror genre, which was essentially in its infancy during this era. The first thing that the viewer must understand is that this film was made in a time before slasher films as we know them today were common. Films in this era, and before (David F. Friedman, and Herschell Gordon Lewis not withstanding) typically relied on suspense as a method of scaring audiences - "All the Kind Strangers" is no exception to this.

The film is shot from the perspective of Jimmy Wheeler (Stacy Keach) a freelance photographer who is driving through rural America. While on a remote area of land he comes across a young boy who seems to be lost. Jimmy then offers the boy a ride home, as he notices the weather is starting to look rainy. Upon his arrival to the boy's remote home he comes across an entire family of young children, and one other person roughly his own age named Carol Ann. After gaining a sense of unease, Carol Ann warns that she is being held captive, and that he needs to get help as soon as possible. The remainder of the film revolves around Jimmy and Carol Ann's attempts to leave while more of the children's motivation is revealed.

The basic plot of the film is nothing that hasn't been told before - the lone traveler(s) riding in an unfamiliar place until they get stuck in a bad situation they spend the rest of the movie trying to get out of. While it may be lamentable that so many films take this "The Hills Have Eyes" story line, there is still something to be said about it. After all, even overused plot devices can still be looked at from new perspective, and I believe that "All the Kind Strangers," does this.

The desperateness of both Carol Ann and Jimmy in their attempts to escape captivity from a group of children genuinely cause the casual viewer to reconsider the pros and cons of helping strangers. Additionally, the atypical plot device that this film uses is still effective, because the human condition demands it to be - all people fear the worst of being stuck in a place or with people which they are unfamiliar with.

What this film lacks in is variety. The protagonist gets stuck in a situation, and he has to get out of it, and that's the entire story. "All the Kind Strangers," would have benefited greatly from allowing Jimmy to enter a position that gets from bad to worse. In the case of this film, from the second the car won't start you know Jimmy is in a very bad situation.

Some have criticized the ending to this film for its lack of climatic gravitas, I however do not believe that to be fair. While the film lacks in a over the top style ending, the motivations of all the characters come full circle, and in the way the children abductors kind of get what they wanted all along, someone who cares.

While I wouldn't outright recommend this movie, I can commend it for its constant levels of creepiness, and its attempt at an original ending. It's certainly worth a watch among other 1970s made for TV horror movies, such as "The Evictors," for example. If its a rainy day and you have nothing better to do, I say check it out, I don't think you'll be disappointed, but you certainly won't be blown away. Slightly recommended.

The Alpha Incident (1978)

Not Bad At All

[7/10 · 6 April 2012]

Let's pretend it's the 1970s again. You hop in your AMC Pacer and head down to the local drive in to catch the evening's double feature. It's a hot summer night, you're there with some friends and the opening movie comes on. The first film that is to play is a horror title called, "The Alpha Incident." After viewing it in a contemporary lens, without any knowledge of some of the negative perceptions that have surrounded this low budget film, I'd dare say you'd say you enjoyed it.

I truly believe that this film deserves a higher rating then the 3.8 it has garnered on IMDb. The plot is fairly original and complex: A government agent on a railway line is posing as a conductor in order to ensure that a deadly virus from Mars is transported safely across the country. On the way to their destination a nosy railway employee accidentally breaks open the virus. Unknown to him, he is now infected, and everyone he comes into contact with could potentially have the virus spread to them. The next morning at a remote north woods railway stop, the government agent realizes that the container has been broken into and that the virus could have been spread to him and three others who are at the stop. The agent calls the incident in, and is ordered by his superiors to quarantine himself and any others who may have been exposed.

For what the film lacks in action, it makes up for in suspense. Tempers flair and emotions run high as the five people are stuck together waiting for the government to find a some sort of solution to the problem. Without giving to much away, as the film progresses, the potentially effected people learn more about the virus they may have been inflicted with, which only causes them more troubles as the hours continue. Additionally, the scenes of the government agents attempting to find a cure before a potential outbreak occurs are also suspenseful, with the only key problem being a suicide that seems thrown in as a way to add variety to the deaths that occur.

In all this movie is well played. The locations and settings are appropriate. The railroad station seems like any old work place, not necessarily a place where a dramatic virus outbreak would be taking place. The setting is scary because it looks like some where you'd visit in your day to day life in any rural location, making The Alpha Incident seem all the more relateable.

The characters themselves are played appropriately as well. Dr. Sorensen, (Stafford Morgan) the government agent is perhaps the best played, portraying a man trying to control a situation that is completely out of his hands. The other quarantined characters do a fine job as well, all of whom are worried about their lives, but do a varying job attempting to hide their fear. My only gripe is Buck Flower's character, Hank who does come off as somewhat man/childish, but it does aid in the sympathy to his character.

In many of the reviews, the ending of The Alpha Incident is often criticized, as many say it bears too much of a resemblance to the ending of Night of the Living Dead. I don't believe this is a fair comparison. SPOILER ALERT: The protagonist in Night of the Living Dead is killed by the government by accident, because he is mistaken for a zombie; in the Alpha Incident the protagonist is killed purposefully, as to cover up the government's virus program.

In all this is a good film. It borders on earning the distinction of a popcorn flick, but it is suspenseful enough to earn a serious viewing. Not my favorite, but recommended.

A Fool There Was (1915)

Watch it, you fool.

[8/10 · 6 April 2012]

First off, allow me to begin by stating the importance this film holds in for cinematic history. Theda Bara was one of, if not the first American actresses who could accurately be described as a seductive sex symbol. Images of her that still exist, are still memorable in the American zeitgeist, especially those of which come from the few remaining fragments of her later lost film Cleopatra. Unfortunately, however, of the nearly twenty films she would be a part of, and despite her legendary status, only two of her films still survive. A Fool There Was, is one of those films. On this alone, this film is worth watching simply to view a great early American actress who unfortunately had her filmography destroyed. Theda Bara apart, this film is still amazingly good.

The seductive plot is more common today, but in 1915 it would have been amazingly revolutionary. A seductive vampiress (Bara) lures in men and sucks all the life force from them, except that which keeps them dedicated to her. One man in particular, John Schuyler (Edward José) becomes the focus of the Vamp's obsession after his wife offends her. Eventually, he leaves his family to become essentially what amounts to a junkie, who's only desire is to remain with the vamp.

The film enjoys several revolutionary features which would later become standards in the more edgy films of the future. Foremost, Bara's strong femme fatale lead is impressive to see in a film from 1915. Apparently the famous line, "Kiss me, my fool," caused quite a stir for 1910s audiences. Additionally, the film enjoys a fairly non-static camera, unlike the fairly motionless camera angles which existed in the pre- Intolerance era, which give the viewer a much better view of the world that these events are taking place in. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the film results in no resolution and leaves the viewer wondering who truly is the protagonist in this film.

My only real gripe with the film is that the viewer is introduced to other people who were also seduced by the vamp, we however only get to see them after their undoing. I think the film would have benefited from some flashbacks which showed these men while under the vamp's spell. This, however, is my only major critique. And after all, a film that makes you beg to know more can't be that bad of a film.

A fool there was certainly is among of the best American pre-Griffith era films, even if it was right in the cusp of the releases of such titles as Intolerance and Birth of a Nation. My only real disappointment is that there are so few Theda Bara films left to view, A fool There Was at least leaves an idea of what other Bara films may have been. I am certainly under the Bara's spell, and you should be too. Highly recommended.

Queen of Spades (1916)

An Overlooked Film

[7/10 · 20 January 2012]

The "Queen of Spades," from 1916 is a very interesting film, worth more than the lack of attention which it has received. The film revolves around a young man named German (Ivan Mozzhukhin,) who becomes obsessed about learning a magical secret on how to consistently win at cards. He seeks to learn this secret from an elderly countess who learned about this in her youth. Eventually, he gains this knowledge after killing the countess, but at a cost to his sanity and inner peace.

"Queen of Spades," stands out to me for many reasons. Foremost, the film was released before the Russian Revolution, making it one of the few surviving Russian full-length films from that era. Because of this, the viewer has the opportunity to glimpse aspects of Russian aristocracy without elements of Soviet propaganda which bashes the bourgeois; which makes this a rare look into pre-Soviet Russia.

As for the editing and pacing of the film, I would argue that it is very ahead of its time. Not being an expert on films of the 1910s, I have very little to compare it too, but I can say that this film is very on par with films of the early 20s. The cross dissolves in this film, as well as the double exposures during the insanity scenes work very well. I also enjoyed with film because of its effective uses of flashbacks and changes of juxtaposition.

The acting in the film is nothing worth bragging about, but it isn't bad either. Without a doubt, the best performance in the film is done by the film's lead Ivan Mozzhukhin who emotes pretty well, and his expressions after he loses his mind are fairly impressive. The rest of the cast do their job well, but not great.

The greatness in this film lays in its ability to tell the story, (which it is certainly an interesting story,) as well as its ahead of its time editing.

I've only seen this film available online and I know of no online stores which sell it. The internet's version of this film is pretty good however, and comes with a well done sound track.

I highly recommend this film for those who love early silents, especially if they like films which include elements of horror.

T-Bird Gang (1959)

I just don't understand what all the fuss is about.

[4/10 · 26 December 2011]

First off, let me state that this film is okay. I typically love 50s B- movies of essentially any genera rather they be wonderful examples of what can be done on a low budget, or complete schlock that is mainly enjoyable because if its failings. Based on the reviews I had read on IMDb, I watched T-Bird Gang because I thought it would have been of the former. I must admit I was a little let down.

The film tells the story of a young man named Frank, (John Brinkley) who becomes an inside man for the police in order to find his father's killer. The young man infiltrates the gang and eventually he succeeds in helping the police. The story has been done before, both poorly and well, here in T-Bird Gang, it's done "okay." Frankly, the story itself is told so quickly the viewer really doesn't have anytime to care about any of the characters involved.

It isn't that the acting is bad, in fact, I found the acting in this film to be rather good. I was even impressed by Coleman Francis' portrayal of a stereotypical overworked police detective, which he plays very convincingly. The problem is, the film just doesn't make me care very much. The viewer isn't given the time to understand what Frank is going through with the murder of his father, and although it is hinted that Frank and the detective have a history with one another, it isn't ever really discussed in depth. In stark contrast to this is the 1959 film "The Bloody Brood." "The Blood Brood," has a very similar story line to T-Bird Gang, but instead the viewer is shown how the characters feels about the people and situations unfolding around them, which makes the viewer care more.

T-Bird Gang gives me enough information to want to care, but it doesn't give me enough of a story to MAKE me care. Recommended, but only to those like me who just love 50s B-Movies.

The Phantom Carriage (1921)

The Citizen Kane of Silent Cinema?

[10/10 · 26 December 2011]

1921's The Phantom Carriage is one of the many silent films I have viewed and enjoyed over the years. However, there is something that sets this film apart from the other great pieces of cinema which I have enjoyed.

The story revolves around a variety of characters that are connected in some way to David Holm, (Victor Sjöström) a vile man who suffers from both tuberculosis and alcoholism. Holm is not only violent to his wife and children, but also actively tries to spread his illness to others. The film's first mentioning of him is from a dying woman who requests to see him before she passes away. Initially the audience is unsure what her relation with David Holm is; however as time passes we begin to learn that she was a Salvation Army parishioner who once looked over the homeless David Holm. Throughout this, the audience learns of the myth of Körkarlen i.e.: The Phantom Carriage. The viewer learns that at the end of every year the last evil person to die is damned to spend one year driving a carriage playing the role of death by reaping every soul who dies in the world for one year. After a fight which ends in Holm receiving a serious injury, David meets with the previous year's carriage driver and they discuss some of his wrong doings.

The film is shot amazingly well, using creative camera angles and effective uses of fades, cross dissolves and double exposures. All of these things give the user an eerie feeling throughout the entire movie, as well as a sense of urgency as the dying Salvation Army parishioner moves closer and closer to her dying hour. The film effectively tells its story through uses of flashbacks, as well as through focusing on several characters, instead of just one.

The film's story is similar to that of Dicken's A Christmas Carol, but has a far darker tone, as some of David's violent actions, as well as some of the carriage driver's duties are shown to the viewer in ways that are more direct than in A Chirstmas Carol. David Holm's attack on his family with an axe and attempts to give his children tuberculosis are good examples of this.

The film can be accused of being a little bit preachy at times. The film makes no attempts to hide its anti-alcohol message, but this was after all filmed in an era where most countries were experiencing at least some measures of alcohol prohibition. Additionally, the film does have a very strong Christian tone to it, but it is far from being so preachy as to chase away a non-Christian viewer. When viewing the film, it is best that the viewer remembers that this film is a representation of the values and morals of the era which it was recorded in, not necessarily an attempt to tell the viewer how to live his or her lives.

In its entirety The Phantom Carriage is a great film that was years ahead of its time. It is a film which is certainly on par with some of the finest pieces of cinema ever created. I believe that The Phantom Carrage can appeal to almost every viewer, even those who are not typically interested in silent films. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, if you haven't seen it yet, then do so.

Silent Night: The Story of the Christmas Carol (1953)

A Very Touching and Old-Timey Documentary/Story.

[9/10 · 7 November 2011]

This short documentary came as a bonus on my Santa Claus Conquers the Martians DVD, and boy am I pleased that it was Included. This interesting and informative film will have you buzzing with nostalgia in no time and will make an excellent addition to your DVD collection.

There isn't a lot I can really say about the plot of the film. Essentially, The film tells the story of how Silent Night was composed, in a reasonably historically accurate manner.

The story is explained through narration, with actors providing the visuals for the story. The accompanying music, which consists mostly different versions of Silent Night, is delightful and reminds me of the Christmas Eve church services I attended as a child.

The visuals, although simplistic, are stunning in their own right and really make you feel as though it is Christmas, regardless of what time of the year you are watching the film. Viewers are treated to images of Christmas carolers, old time churches and scenery from the region in Germany which Silent Night was written. All of these things are wonderfully dated and take you back to another era that has long passed by.

Although a basic quasi-documentary, this film is a real treat and something I watch every December. Highly Recommended.

A Bucket of Blood (1959)

It's 'Art'!

[8/10 · 5 October 2011]

Despite being an avid fan of classic B-movies, I had not seen a Roger Corman movie before, 'A Bucket of Blood'. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.

Now to be honest, I'm not as clear on the history of dark comedies as much as I probably should be. However, my assumption is that this has to have been one of the first, or at the very least one of the first great ones. The film follows a painfully awkward man named Walter (Dick Miller). He is a busboy at a local hipster hangout who doesn't quite seem to fit in despite his personal aspirations to be one of the crowd. One night Walter goes home to his depressing apartment and decides make an attempt at creating a sculpture. He quickly becomes frustrated and angry when he can't seem to figure out how to make anything out of the clay.

During the apex of his frustration he accidentally kills a neighbors cat, and feels horrible about it. After calming down he has an idea, 'Why not just put clay over the body?!' The next day he takes the clay- covered feline "sculpture" down to his work, where it is an instant hit.

Without divulging too much into the plot, Walter eventually goes on to murder in order to get more bodies to cover in clay. Eventually Walter gains a huge following as an artist.

There were several reasons why I enjoyed this film. One of the major reasons was the excellent acting. Dick Miller does such an wonderful job playing Walter, the awkward waiter/murderer. It is literally uncomfortable to watch him interact in social situations. His awkward passes at women in the interest of love, or his discussions with men who are interested in his artwork, seem like the interactions someone who might actually turn people into clay sculptures might actually have! On top of this, the hipsters at the bar overact wonderfully. I especially enjoy the character of Maxwell Brock (Julian Burton) who praises all of Walter's 'Work' as if the sculptures were sent down from the Gods.

As a psychological piece I also find it interesting. I especially noticed how Walter's murders progress. The first murder was completely accidental (albeit the murder of a cat), the second was self-defense, the third vengeance, and the final; cold blooded murder. I think it's an interesting look at the progression of Walt's violence.

As a dark comedy it is also effective. The overacting on the side of the hipsters is great and the general story itself is pretty amusing, in a dark way. It's one of those stories that is so absurd, but at the same time taken just seriously enough the viewers will chuckle more then a few time throughout the film, while enjoying the picture as a semi-serious tale.

Highly recommended for: Dark Comedy lovers, B-movie lovers and honestly, film lovers in general.

The Bottle and the Throttle (1968)

An effective film, and the last of the great Tim Farrell.

[7/10 · 3 October 2011]

Every film has a goal, if the goal of a horror film is to scare people, then a film like 'The Texas Chain Saw Massacre' gets a 10 out of 10. If the goal of the movie is to get people to laugh then, 'Animal House' gets a 10 out of 10. And if the goal of your film is to get people to think before getting behind the wheel of a car after a few drinks then 'The Bottle and the Throttle' gets a 10 out of 10.

The film begins at the scene of a car accident where a small amount of alcohol may have been a contributing factor. The viewer doesn't immediately find out rather or not the people involved (A mother and a child, who are struck by a car)survived or not. While waiting to find out rather or not the people in the accident survive, the viewer learns about how alcohol effects judgment, though the pleasing baritone voice of, Tim Farrell. The viewer honestly feels a sense of getting placed in the shoes of the driver who caused the accident. I honestly felt bad for him. Especially, when you find out what ended up becoming of the mother and child after the wreck. The film did honestly make me think twice about being 'buzzed' and driving.

Being a Tim Farrow fan I watched this film because it was his last, but I walked away from it thinking about the consequences of actions behind the wheel. Something that is seriously missing from driver's Ed classrooms of today.

RECOMMENDED for Tim Farrell fans or those who like driver's ED flicks.

The Violent Years (1956)

Rather bland for an Ed Wood related flick.

[2/10 · 29 September 2011]

After purchasing Ed Wood's, 'The Sinister Urge' my collection of Ed Wood material was nearly complete. However, there was one film that still hung over my head, which I felt I needed to see. This film was 'The Violent Years'. The Violent Years was a film written by Ed Wood, with heavy involvement from a few of Wood's stock cast members and rumors that Wood allegedly had a small hand in the direction.

As I read various websites I found more information on the film. I learned that it was Ed's most successful film, I also discovered that he was quite proud of it, Even Showing the Poster for The Violent Years in his film 'The Sinister Urge.' Naturally, it was a must have.

Upon receiving it in the mail, I popped it in my DVD player, grabbed some popcorn and sat in my recliner. Immediately I found myself disappointed. Like any Wood film, the dialogue is a little ridiculous, but unlike his other films, it was just so gosh darn boring. I found myself caring very little for any of the characters in the film, they annoyed me more then anything. The male victim 'sex attack' scene that everyone likes to talk about is boring and just ungodly stupid.

This movie lacks all the charm of any of the other non-porno films related to Wood. Wood was, present but not key in the direction of this film and it really shows.

I really don't have a lot more to say about this film. I would recommend it only for completion-ists, or people who really like '50s juvenile delinquency flicks. But that is all. -RECOMMENDED ONLY TO PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GETTING THEMSELVES INTO.-

The Bloody Brood (1959)

Honestly, it's pretty good, and not for all the wrong reasons.

[8/10 · 28 September 2011]

Upon watching a review of this film I instantly became curious about it. A juvenile delinquency film staring Peter Falk as a murderous counter culture member? Count me in.

My preconceived notion about this film was that it was going to be another cheesy 1950s scare flick, somewhat in the vein of Ed Wood's 'The Violent Years.' What I got, however was a very well acted, well put together and memorable film which even my friends who are not into '50s B-movies seem to enjoy.

The film focuses on two characters, the murderous thug Nico (Peter Falk) and Cliff (Jack Betts) the brother of one of Nico's victims. Nico is an implied drug dealer and popular member of the local counter culture, who becomes obsessed with watching people die after witnessing a man have a heart attack. Eventually, he decides he wants to see another person die, so he and a friend kill a delivery boy by feeding him a laced hamburger.

The police are unable to solve the murder due to the lack of evidence which is generally involved in motiveless crimes, so Cliff decides to take matters into his own hands.

I commonly regard this as one of the best B-Movies the 50s has to offer for reasons other than, 'so bad it's good.' The characters are interesting and well played; I really cannot think of a single actor who played their role poorly. I find the character of Nico's friend Francis to be one of the best acted. Francis was one of the murderers and was instantly paranoid upon witnessing the death of the delivery boy. His paranoia and anxiety is well played by the actor. It almost makes this film a case study in human behavior when at risk of being caught for a crime.

Nico is interesting too, as a murderer he has a calm confidence about him, right up until his end. He is sly and cunning, and seems to understand the human condition well. Peter Falk does a wonderful job demonstrating his acting ability, making Nico a character the viewer loves to hate.

I highly recommend this film to essentially anyone, it's available to view freely online and I recommend that you take a look. I don't think you'll be disappointed. Highly recommended.

The Blasphemer (1921)

Interesting work of religious propaganda.

[4/10 · 23 September 2011]

'The Blasphemer' from 1921 is an interesting, obscure little film released through a Catholic Film company in the early twenties. The film centers around, John Harden, a successful businessman whose Atheism, blasphemy and infidelity leave him in deep s*@! with the big man in the sky. After denying God, his business empire collapses, followed by his marriage and the relationship with his mistress, ultimately leading to him becoming a street bum. He remains homeless until redeeming himself by seeing the errors of his ways.

Outwardly, the plot seems fairly standard for a religious film. However, the cinematography and story lines take the viewer through bizarre flashback sequences, which are difficult to follow with the title cards, as well as random shots of stained glass windows, superimposed with quotes from the bible, which fit into the sins committed by John Harden's character.

Although, John Harden is a bit of an jerk at times, the plot is preachy and annoying; basically professing that religion, especially, the Christian religion is the only righteous path. If this kind of thing annoys you to no end, I wouldn't recommend watching this, but if you're researching religion from either from a secular point of view, or because you enjoy old-time religious stories, you may enjoy this.

The acting in this film is pretty well done, I honestly have nothing but praise for the people involved in this production. They all emote well, far better, in fact, then some of the acting I've seen in more mainstream productions. I have no gripes with the acting of any of the people who stared in this film, it's too bad none of them were really in any movie other then this.

For a 90 year old film (as of 2011) it is in remarkably good shape. The nitrate has been preserved to a standard almost unlike silent film I have ever seen before. And is worth getting a hold of, if you can find it (I've only ever seen it available on DVD-R). The film does suffer from a lack of a sound track, although the Actors and Actresses do turn a good enough performance to keep a semi-interested viewer entertained.

Recommended, but only for those interested in it as a genre piece, or, time piece. But, take heed; DO NOT MAKE THIS YOUR FIRST SILENT FILM!

Test Tube Babies (1948)

Pretty good if you consider other exploitation films of the same era.

[5/10 · 20 September 2011]

I think I've reached a decision about the films of George Weiss. They are arguably the most realistic cinematic portrayals of 'real life' of all time. Like real life, conversations are bland, people get naked when they get dressed and like real life friends are obnoxious and annoying. Most films do not include these 'real life' things in the final cuts of the film, George Weiss, however does.

There are several scenes in here with dialogue which doesn't seem like it belongs in a film. This includes scenes where people get dressed, and discussions about what's for breakfast, without anything of real value added to the story. The weird thing is about 'Test Tube Babies' is that: none of this feels artificial in the least. I mean this honestly. The bland talks between George and his wife are unconventional, but they are the same conversations I would have with my significant other. There would normally be no other reason to see Georges' wife get dressed, but in real life she would be getting dressed to go to a party. So it all seems realistic to me.

Apart from my little revelation about Test Tube Babies and other George Weiss productions, the film, although bland at times is fun overall. It tells its story competently and amusingly, especially with the party scenes. The scene when a drunken bald man starts dancing with a stripper, on its own makes 'Test Tube Babies' worth the view.

Now, I have only seen the cut 59 minute version, so I can't speak for the extended version. The most common version I'm aware of is slightly deteriorated which is too bad, because the worst corrosion happens over the best parts of the film.

At any rate, this film is great for someone just starting to get into '40s and '50s exploitation flicks. I find myself watching it constantly.

If you like cheap exploitation, it's a must see.

Paris After Midnight (1951)

Only recommended for the biggest fan of '50s exploitation.

[3/10 · 18 September 2011]

This is a pretty obscure film which to my knowledge is only available through Something Weird Video. The film stars the always wonderful Timothy Farrell of Ed Wood fame, along with a fair number of actresses known for their other ventures in other Screen Classic Productions films.

The plot follows the story of two American Soldiers (Tim Farrell and some other guy) who are locked up in an Parisian jail after a few mishaps in a shady French Motel. The story is told through narration explaining how the two ended up in jail. The story told is typical of any George Weiss production I have ever seen, basically silly subplots that lead into the viewer seeing bizarre strip tease segments. For better or worse these strip teases make up a good 1/3 of the entire film.

The story itself is kind of fun and actually did have some pretty decent intentionally funny scenes. Especially one involving a woman cheating on her husband with an American Soldier. Timothy Farrell gives a good performance as always, playing a Sargent placed in jail because of two of his subordinate's mishaps. The scenes in this film that do not involve strip teases are pretty fun; perhaps, even some of the Screen Classics Companies best, though the average viewer likely wouldn't find this picture to be much fun.

Something Weird's Version of this film is of a very high quality, nearly flawless in fact. This is more then I can say for other surviving films of George Weiss' filmography. If you like anything Ed Wood, George Weiss, Tim Farrow or Exploration film of the '50s in general, I would say give it a shot. Otherwise, start with Glen or Glenda (1953) or Test Tube Babies (1948) and come back later.

Exécution de Jeanne d'Arc (1898)

A moving silent film.

[10/10 · 16 August 2011]

Upon viewing this film one is reminded of the many early films of Georges Melies. The film is hand tinted in the same fashion which many of Melies films are colored, with a story line in the same vane. This is perhaps why this version is often confused with Melies' lost film about Joan of Arc.

If coupled with a good sound track, this film is quite effective, and moving. Even one hundred and twelve years later, I was still saddened by Joan's trial and execution. With the help of the ahead of its time effects, and wonderful performances by the actors (especially the unknown actress who plays, Joan) the film is emotionally powerful. Personally, I don't understand why this film isn't discussed by fans of cinemas' oldest films.

Visually the film is very appealing. As I mentioned earlier, the film is hand-tinted quite wonderfully. in fact, Who ever colored this film, rather it be the director (Georges Hetot) or someone in a production house, they did a top notch job, even better than some of Melies colored films.

The ending of the film is the best, I won't ruin it entirely, however it is bittersweet. I can't help but think that a little bit of the ending is missing, because it seem to end quite suddenly before the fade out is complete. It makes me think that, Joan was going to do a few more motions before the film ended. Unfortunately we may never know.

This film needs to gather more acclaim then it has. I hope that soon people can look past the fact that this is not a Melies film, and enjoy this 1898 classic for the great film that this is. Highly Recommended.