jconde999 Reviews

Meetings with Remarkable Men (1979)

A truly uncinematic experience!

[6 February 2009]

I had big expectations about this film, but it turned out to be a huge disappointment. Ultimately, it is a boring, soporific movie that rambles around with no clear commitment to its subject matter. No light is shed on the early years of G. I. Gurdjieff and who are those remarkable men of the title and how he became a forceful religious and philosophical character.

Acting is zombie-like. Trite, repetitive script has no dramatic highlights, with the only exception of a herd of camels roaming freely around the dunes. Some sequences are involuntarily hilarious or hard to believe.

All in all, there is more spirituality in the Star Wars saga than in the 108 min of this movie. "May the force be with you" has more punch in just one line that all the mumbo jumbo in MWRM.

It deserves 1, instead of zero (not available), thanks to the soundtrack -likely, the only redeeming quality- and for being good for a weekend nap.

Dancer in the Dark (2000)

What next? Dirty Harry: The Musical (Aka Dirty Harry Sings and Dances)?

[8 July 2003]

A new breed of skilful and immensely talented movie directors, at the top of their creative powers, unleash their cinematic panoply onto the moviegoer without remorse, probably thinking that the whole corpus of video clip aesthetics can translate smoothly to the big screen. This was tried with mixed results by the French Nouvelle Vague in the 50's and early 60's. Thanks to those filmmakers, the film syntax was widened, no doubt, but nowadays only a handful of those movies are remembered as a rewarding experience.

Dancer in the Dark, an aesthetical descendent of those streams, is a schizophrenic film that finally defeats itself by its incapacity to decide if it is death row drama, a musical, a portrayal of the American Dream turning sour or a harrowing depiction of moral predicaments. At the crux of this film, there is an interesting heartrending story, which, alas, is thoroughly marred by excruciating jerky hand-held camera work and editing (à la cinéma vérité or kinopravda), confined mise en scène and the most inane and ill-timed musical numbers put on screen since the 1973 version of Lost Horizon or that epitome of musical idiocy and self-importance, which is The Apple.

What next? I'm afraid that musical versions of Dirty Harry, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Silence of the Lambs -directed by Quentin Tarantino or John Woo I'd venture- might premiered in due time. Yet I'm looking forward to them, as they could reach the status of guilty pleasures or the midnight cult circuit. That would not be the case with the annoying Dancer in the Dark, which is not even kitsch.

Surprisingly decent acting by pop singer Björk -whose thespian credentials pale when compared with the infamous swan-like outfit she flashed during the 2001 Oscar ceremony- and from the rest of the cast redeem the picture and step up its rating from a downright turkey to a 2/10.

Proviso: If the musical scenes were to be removed (sort of a spectator's cut!!) the rating might be improved to a more than generous 6/10.

Invasion (1997– )

Been there, done that.

[8 July 2003]

A virus, presumably of extraterrestrial origin, takes over human beings.

By the numbers made-for-tv movie travels down well-known territory with few redeeming virtues. The familiar story is padded with mumbo jumbo galore and cheesy special effects. Even though the acting by most of the cast is decent, there is little else to be remembered.

Recommended only to desperate diehards craving for their sci-fi daily shot!!! With due respect to the canine breeds, skip this dog of a movie and go for the real thing. Rent out Don Siegel's Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956), Village of the Damned and the underrated Independence Day or any of those wonderful campy sci-fi B-movies of the 50's... and treat yourself to a pleasurable Saturday afternoon and don't forget the right words: Klaatu barada nikto!

Rating: 2/10.because of beautiful locations.

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

Overlong, boring 2-hour video clip!!!!

[30 April 2003]

This is an overlong, tedious, frantic 2-hour video clip that should have been kept at a reasonable length: 4 minutes at most.

No doubt: Baz Luhrmann is a genius in the making; his visual mastery of the cinematographic medium is awesome, but, alas, his claustrophobic repetitious conception of this film and jerky editing finally defeat any attempt to enjoy the movie experience.

Most of the actors are wasted; particularly John Leguizamo as a gloomy caricature of Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. But although the lack of screen chemistry between Nicole Kidman and Ewan was excruciating, she must be praised for her fine acting.

Instead of squandering away their precious time, movie buffs should rent out John Huston's Moulin Rouge (1953) and George Cukor's Camille (1936) and shouldn't forget to grab some of those wonderful timeless Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly's musicals.

However, for those that enjoyed this protracted video clip, the extravagant Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) and the kitschy Can't Stop the Music (1980) are musts.