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Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
To boldly cry where no man has cried before. Voyages of the starship Entercries.
WTF is going on with everyone crying all the time?
Everyone is an emotional wreck in this show. These people should have never made it into Starfleet. There ain't no crying in Starfleet!
More than half of every episode is dedicated to people crying and explaining their feelings. They do it before and after every event that takes place and then the do it some more just so you know how the feel. Stop crying and talking already and do action. Pew! Pew!
The main girl is the worst of them all. She whispers and cries in every episode and she is suppose to be the damn captain. Nobody wants a crying captain.
She cries more than Carrie Mathison of Homeland and i didn't think that was possible. Space!
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)
PG-13 Venom wont let there be Carnage at all.
Come on man, Venom shouldn't of been PG-13 and Carnage should absolutely not be. That's an R character for sure. All two of head biting scenes are off camera and there's no blood or bodies on ground afterwards. Everything is so domesticated. All neat and tidy. Don't want anything dangerous or frightening to people. That's Not Carnage.
Doesn't help that the rest of the movie was a mess also.
One plus is Venom was somewhat funny.
Warrior (2011)
MMA Rocky but without all the leather and tight a$$ shorts.
Wow! This movie is as hard as they come. Last 45 minutes was intense as hell.
Everybody likes an underdog. Ground and pound baby! This movie gets you going!
I put it right up there with Rocky if not better and i like me some Rocky. Yo Adrian, I Did It.
The Last Duel (2021)
3rd times is not the charm but Ben Affleck's hair in this movie just might be.
If you have nothing better to do with yourself than sit around and watch the same slow drawn out scene with very little differences three times in a row for over two hours than this is the movie for you. Land the plane already!
This whole movie could of been over in a 1/3 of the time and still had the same affect.
Affleck's hair tho!
Doctor Who (2005)
Season 11,12,13 Doctor Who and the motley crew.
They turned the Tardis into a halfway house full of randoms that add next to nothing to the show. Everybody and their brother is allowed in to Tardis now. There have been more people in there in the last two seasons than have been in the whole series.
The show is suppose to be about the Doctor not a random group of uninteresting people. Two seasons and i still cant tell you a single name of the companions.
Also they dumbed down the Doctor for some reason. She is no longer the smartest person in the room. It takes her and her whole damn Gucci crew to figure out anything anymore.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Shang-Chi and the extremely annoying sidekick/friend katy
That Katy girl was freaking horrible and jokes were awful af. She ruins every scene she is in with some of the worst acting ever witnessed. Every scene she is either telling a joke that falls flat as hell or has a exaggerated gaping mouth stare while no one else looks surprised.
Then after all that she shoots a moving dragon in the throat with an arrow from like a mile away with like two days of training to save the day. OMG!
The rest of the movie was fine i guess. Kung-fu and dragons baby!
Crawl (2019)
Crawl the heck away because you cant out swim alligators.
This girl a can survive anything. Arms repetitively being chomped on by gators and and barely having a scratch. Leg being half gnawed on and having no effect on her the whole movie. Hell she even swam faster after being half eaten alive. That is not how that works at all unless your a competitive swimmer i guess.
This house has the biggest crawlspace know to man. With its own subterranean cavern and ecosystem. Not to mention the excessive water pipes and a sewer drain you would see in prison movies.
That has to be the strongest glass shower door ever made. It trapped a 500 pound raging alligator in it without breaking or even cracking one bit. I need one of those.
Competitive swimmers can swim faster than alligators in this film, no matter how badly maimed they are. Also alligators cant sense you even if your bleeding to death in the water as long as you don't splash.
The Night Manager (2016)
House is Gunrunner MD. Doctors without borders.
After a few years on the run we finally catch up with House MD. New and improved House 2.0. Complete with British accent. Once he used to save lives, now he takes them. You don't mess with House!
He has been on the lam since burning buildings and losing his medical license. He has re-invited himself as a badass arms dealer that is straight up making money moves.
Basically season 9,10 of House but with with big guns and a lot less staph infections.
Also there is a manager that runs around at night.
Homeland (2011)
Brody stop talking with your mouth full!
Good thriller but what the heck is going on with Brody's mouth? Is he chewing on pebbles or is he trying to whistle the whole time? I cant understand a word that man says. Open your freaking mouth dude! He's forcing me to turn on subtitles and its really pissing me off. Also the main girl cries a lot and stuff.
Update: He is finally gone! The show is very enjoyable now.
Runaways (2017)
Run far away
They run around town in front of thousands of people. Sticking out like a sore thumb, even though they are on the most wanted list and their parents have the most advanced tech in the world and no one can ever locate them. Dude they have a freaking velociraptor with them. It cant be that hard to locate these people.
Somehow they find a mansion in the ground that is fully furnish and even has a freaking drivable Rolls Royce. Manage to find a cornucopia of food every day. The freshest fruits and vegetables you have ever seen. All straight out of the garbage. Give me a break.They must be the luckiest runaways ever.
The Suspicions of Mr Whicher: The Ties That Bind (2014)
Chalk another one up for old chops.
I guess people just didn't have the time or the money to shave those bad boys off their faces back in the day. Those things are bold!
The Suspicions of Mr Whicher: Beyond the Pale (2014)
Old Pork Chops is at it again.
This series makes me wish i could grow mean ass pork chops on my face like that.
I guess they were all the rage.
Top hats and mutton.
The Suspicions of Mr Whicher: The Murder in Angel Lane (2013)
Detective Pork Chops solves another one.
They cant hold Detective Pork Chops down. He always gets his man and his mutton.
NOS4A2 (2019)
Bridges will give you pink eye.
Old man, bad teeth, Christmas town, motocross chick, stabby kids, classic car, eye infection.
Some girl complains a lot and then rides her bike looking for some old dude and gets pink eye. The end.
Holmes & Watson (2018)
You're not my boy blue!
Third movie in the Sherlock Holmes series. OMG everyone looks so old and boring. They really let themselves go from the second movie. I could hardy recognize them at all.
Movie was pretty lousy. What the hell happened? Who dropped the ball on this?
The Blacklist (2013)
Elizabeth Keen is terrible. I cant stand her! Tell her to kick rocks.
What the hell is going on with her pants this season. They look all clumpy and lumpy. She's rocking my old grade school teacher look.
Her character and story line are just plain awful. Get rid of her and her square pants already. She ruins every scene she is in.
Update: Just will i didn't think i could dislike her anymore, she goes and ruins season 8.
Peppermint (2018)
Soccer mom shoot em up.
Rock solid revenge movie. Bad ass soccer mom kicking ass. She is like a female Crow or John wick.
The Predator (2018)
One of the worst comedies of the year.
Another little kid saves the day movie.The whole thing is cringe-worthy at best.
Little kid reads alien language, can figure out their weaponry. Helps save the planet.
Then there's the good looking scientist girl that turns into universal soldier within 15 minutes. She is proficient with any weapon. Runs fast as the predator. Comes out of nowhere and processed to jump on his head from a cliff, then bang bang shoots him up. WTF!
Oh and lets not forget about the jokes. They tried way to hard and they were all straight up terrible.
The Suspicions of Mr Whicher: The Murder at Road Hill House (2011)
Pork Chops and murder!
Murder mystery where everyone is rocking some mean a*s pork chops on the side of their faces.
The First (2018)
Very little Sci-Fi, lots of Sean Penn and a couple minutes of a dirty phone repair guy.
Where were all the rockets, spaceships, science and space?
Every damn episode is of Sean Penn boohooing and working out.
Sean Penn running with no shirt on,
Sean Penn using dumb bells in the pool,
Sean Penn playing basketball and more Sean Penn and his damn dumb bells!
This was just a glorified Sean Penn work out video.
You know what would of made this better?
If you had Sean Penn running with no shirt on....in space!
Sean Penn using dumb bells in the pool....in space!
Sean Penn playing basketball and more of his damn dumb bells....in space!
If there is a season two. Lets have it actually be about Sci-Fi and less about Sean Penn. If you have to have him working out, he better be working out on Mars!
Cloak & Dagger (2018)
Slow, boring, and moody.
Another show with depressed crybaby teens whining about their first world problems. Whole season of kids boo-hooing over their broken wheelie board ramp while next to nothing else happens.
Sacred Games (2018)
Bollywood and super tight jeans.
Good show but the main inspector cant sneak around to save his life. He just walks around all willy-nilly with his super tight jeans, thinking people cant see him at all. Dude you are standing right under a street light and night. They can see your butt for sure dude. Skinny jeans don't make you invisible. Find cover!