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First Contact: An Alien Encounter (2022)
Sorry, tried but couldn't finish this
Good Lord, I hate gimmicky editing, and this piece of visual bric-a-brac is the gimmicky-est I've seen in ages.
We got through the opening, and kinda thought "ok, it'll get better"... Then we saw the interview setups, the needless dips to black and the pointless flashy crap between scenes.
This looks like visual diarrhea, and the story itself is a pointless mess, intercut with various science types saying the same doom and gloom crap ad infinitum.
Independence Day was a smarter film about aliens than "First Contact".
Anyhow, take a pass on this one, it isn't worth your time. We made it to the 3/4 mark and then our constant eyerolling gave us both headaches. Don't make the same mistake we made.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: All Those Who Wander (2022)
Ouch. Was this edited by Stevie Wonder?
Honestly one of the worst episodes of anything I've ever seen in terms of editing.
It's just an incomprehensible garbage dump of gadgety bs, and nonsensical cutting.
Absolute visual garbage.
The Lincoln Lawyer (2022)
Sponsored by Robitussin
Honestly, did the casting notice for this say "all male actors must have severe sore throats?"
There's so many gravelly voiced men in this show, it made me reach for a losenge. Just as well, because this show has David E. Kelley stink all over it.
The crap dialogue, the one-dimensional characters & the terrible pacing.
It's no surprise that Netflix is losing money, they have a gift for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. This series should have been a gimme.
Giving it to Kelley represents everything old and stale about Hollywood. The guy is so far past his best before date, it makes me wonder if Netflix's board has brain damage, or is trying to lose money, or both.
Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (2022)
Typical Discovery garbage
Why make a 30 minute doc, when you can make 180 minutes of sloppy repetitive crap, and layer it with tropey sound effects?? Said the Discovery Execs
This is just crap. The story editor and picture editor should find new careers.
House of Gucci (2021)
Ridley Scott has gone soft in the head
He should give up his director's chair and never wear puffy director's pants again.
This movie is a hot mess of bad pacing, terrible editing, uneven performances and goofy dialogue.
The outfits and music are cool and Leto is a riot on screen, but there is really no reason to watch this.
Severance (2022)
Possibly the best television program, I have ever seen
Absolutely flawless in every way. This is a triumph for the medium itself.
Ben Stiller is an incredible director, and Guzikowzksi is a genius.
Absolutely amazing. There aren't enough words to describe this masterpiece.
Star Trek: Picard: Two of One (2022)
No Picture Editor listed
This is probably out of embarrassment. A show of this level and budget has no business looking this terrible.
This season is garbage on every level and in every department. The writing, the directing, but the editing is absolutely awful.
Hair and makeup are great, that's it.
This review contains no spoilers, the show is spoiled enough as it is.
Secrets of Playboy (2022)
Well duh.
So Hefner turns out to be a scumbag... cue my shocked face. I'm not looking forward to A&E's 12 part special on the wetness of water.
Anyhow, a 'surprising expose' that is neither.
Also, there is far too much repetition, especially by the Jennifer woman, who is in the doc waaaaay more than she needs to be.
Hype House (2022)
Ouch
This "content" makes "Plan 9 from Outer Space" look like Citizen Kane.
The cast is repellent and incredibly stupid. This show is everything wrong with the internet and the fame of 'influence-rs', all at once and amplified to 11. Do any of the cast members ever take a moment from their non-stop ego tripping to think about how utterly replaceable and forgettable they all are?
The fat creep Alex is a particularly terrible person, if there's ever an episode where he falls down some stairs, I may tune in. Until then this is unwatchable.
The Afterparty (2022)
Another sloppy Hollywood wankfest
Not very good. Everyone is a tired cartoon and the script flops around like a goldfish that has jumped out of its tank, and landed on concrete. Ep1 - Haddish is the bad kind of laughable as a detective, and none of her dialogue makes any sense. All the dialogue made me wonder if this whole show was improvised.
How do things like this get greenlit?
Attaway General (2020)
Ouch. So bad it kinda hurts a bit
There has to be some truly lazy programming "genius" hiding under their desk in Hollywood crying while their co-workers talk trash about their latest "Social media All star makes a tv show" disaster.
This "show" has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, as it fails on every possible level and every craft metric that tv programs can be judged on.
Diego Martir (sp?) could be the worst 'actor' every recorded. Charli D-Amelio is a charisma vacuum, and whatever success she has on social media was clearly all she's got.
The execs that greenlit this should be fired and barred from ever working in television or film by a Presidential Decree.
Absolute garbage, just terrible.
Around the World in 80 Days (2021)
Yeesh
Started watching. When the Sherlock Holmes vibe became an Enola Holmes vibe, I lost interest. Also all the eye-rolling I was doing gave me a headache.
Only positive thing is that they got the 'Lady marches into the Men's club to give them a piece of her mind' scene out of the way early.
And memo to filmmakers, a little Hans Zimmer goes a long way. Non stop is a problem.
An Ice Wine Christmas (2021)
Ouch, worst editing ever
Honestly, this is really hard to watch. It's a visual mess. Random stock footage and pointless cutaways. We gave up after 10 minutes as I was worried I might get eye cancer.
Dirty Money: Dirty Gold (2020)
So shallow, almost unbearable
Ouch, that hurt. Netflix's department of Over-stylization was working overtime on this one.
The whispery vo, the interview while tying flies, the personal tidbits that go nowhere, and the slow sloppy editing... this episode has so many bad ideas and choices, it's the Alien:Covenant of documentaries
What a steaming mess.
Aquarium of the Dead (2021)
Meh, it's better than Venom
We watched Venom, then this and Aquarium of the dead was far more entertaining.
It's got all the usual terribleness, but there is a charming goofyness to it.
Fun to watch, just don't expect too much.
Christmas Is You (2021)
Great shooting, good editing, terrible dialogue
Yikes, every line in this movie is either expository, or pointless.
The shooting is way better than most Hallmark movies, and the editing as well. But the script is just awful. I can't even imagine how this script was greenlit. The director has given the actors nothing to work with, so the
whole film is like a very well made table read of inane dialogue.
A Holiday in Harlem (2021)
I had high hopes for this...
The editing ruined it. Just terrible.
Great performances ruined by sloppy qork in the edit room.
The editing ruined it. Just terrible.
Great performances ruined by sloppy qork in the edit room.
Great performances ruined by sloppy qork in the edit room.
Room 237 (2012)
Absolute nonsense
Calling this a documentary is like calling a hot dog stand restaurant. It's an insult to filmmakers who struggle for years to research and craft a story into an actual documentary.
It's an incredibly lazy and self indulgent piece of crap as well. It's as if they strung a bunch of audio interviews together and then couldn't be bothered to cut out the fat.
Absolute garbage. There must have. Been a dearth of actual docs at the festivals this year, or they slipped critics some mushrooms before the screenings.
My Christmas Family Tree (2021)
Not as good as other 2021 films
I am loving the new Hallmark movies, but this one looks like another Vancouver cheapo.
Washed out color correct - Check
Weak sound mix - Check
Bad Lighting - Check
1980's editing - Check
The new executives need to find new Canadian prodcos to work with. You can't teach an old Canadian new tricks.
Acapulco (2021)
Ouch
The kid who plays Hugo gives the worst performance from a child actor since Shane.
The rest of the show is another boring Apple crap fest.
Boring and reeking of execobot interference.
Yike.
Botched (2014)
Great show ruined in 2021
Used to be a great show, with lots of information. It always seemed smarter than E's standard reality show crap pile.
But 2021, the execubots must have finally got their claws into it, because it's just as stupid as everything else on E. It's all 'stakes, stakes stakes' nonstop. They also intercut the surgeries now which is completely moronic. It's two rooms with people in gowns and masks, so it's impossible to know what's going on.
The new editing style is dated garbage as well.
Oh well, it was good while it lasted.
The Edge of All We Know (2020)
Meh, another doc that has it's head up it's own butt
Nothing says "Don't watch this" like starting a doc with a dull meeting about synchronizing a clock or something.
The countdown to "1:00:00" as a moment to cut to the opening gfx is one of the weakest throws I've seen in decades of watching docs.
Post opening comes the standard "Scientist voice" saying the words "what is a black hole?" over crude animation. It gets lamer from there, and on and on. This is then followed by the same group of science "celebs" you've seen in every NOVA episode about black holes, saying the same things over and over again that you've heard in every NOVA episode about black holes.
The obligatory nod to Stephen Hawking - Check
The science "celebs" talking about their connection to Hawking - check
The science "celebs" talking about all the stuff we don't know about black holes ad nauseum - check
Random animations each with their own visual style - check
Nothing to see here you haven't already seen in every other doc about black holes.
Small Town News KPVM . Pahrump (2021)
Fun show, cool characters
Fun show. Vern is an idiot, but lovable. The only real complaint I have is the photography. The camerawork on this show is terrible. It's far worse than the footage Deanna shoots herself.
The Mysterious Benedict Society (2021)
No great
If you gave 75% of your budget to the Art department, and gave the writer's room a thesaurus, you'll get The Mysterious Benedict Society.
Fortitude (2015)
Season 2 - what the actual f??
Season 2 is a confusing $hit$how. Unbelievable bad. It's like someone dropped the final scripts, and when they picked them up, they put the pages in the wrong order.
Are the 2 female cops meant to be comedy relief? They behave like idiot teens who happen to wear police uniform?
Reindeer pee? Really??