I don't know where to begin.
If you ever wondered what would happen if a low-budget adult film tried to masquerade as a vampire slayer epic, "Insane Like Me" has your answer. And it's not pretty.
The movie stars Britt Bankhead, bless his heart, he puts in an effort that would make a middle school drama teacher proud. Britt is a so-called "war hero" turned vampire slayer. Let me tell you, Britt tries so hard to be the stoic, brooding hero, but his performance lands somewhere between awkward high school play and unintentionally hilarious spoof for most of the film.
From the very first scene, the film's production quality screams "amateur hour." The lighting is so dim you'd think they shot it with a flashlight. The cinematography would be right at home in a questionable late-night cable flick, complete with bizarre zoom-ins and cringe-worthy close-ups.
The dialogue, oh the dialogue. Most of the characters spoke in a tone so wooden, you half expect him to sprout roots. The interactions between characters are so stilted and awkward, you'll be wondering if this was actually a rehearsal gone horribly wrong.
And then there's the action-or lack thereof. The fight scenes are a slow-motion disaster, complete with laughably fake blood, punches, and vampires that look more like they've come from a costume store clearance bin than the depths of darkness. When Britt swings his plastic-looking hatchet furiously, you can almost hear the crew trying not to laugh.
As if all this wasn't enough, the film throws in some interludes to steamy scenes that seem more at home in an adult film than a horror movie. "Joey Greco scenes" These awkwardly shot interludes are not only out of place, but they also highlight just how bad the acting really is. It's like watching a bizarre mashup of genres that should never, ever meet.
"Insane Like Me" is a disasterpiece of epic proportions. If you're looking for a good laugh or a film to riff on with friends, this might be your perfect pick. Otherwise, steer clear and save yourself from this cinematic calamity.