- Cindy Wegman: I don't trust no man who wants to get dressed in a costume and put little kids on his lap.
- Cindy Wegman: So I'm gonna... uh, I'm gonna go for a ride with Randy. I just need to feel the wind in my hair and-and mourn the loss of your dead daddy, okay?
- Stage Hand: Hey, Wegman, your mom's finally here.
- Harley: How do YOU know?
- Stage Hand: 'Cause the smell of booze and used condoms just filled the air. Oh, wait... she's never even used a condom before.
- Wayne: Do you love me?
- Cindy Wegman: If Wink wasn't here, I'd show you just how much.
- Mr. Wink: Don't mind me.