Royce : What are you, are you like Satan worshipers?
Abel : Hey hey, zip zip zip. You are not worthy to utter his name! But yes, we do bask in the light of the dark lord.
Abel : Let's begin. Todd Crenshaw, are you willing to renounce all loyalty to God and Jesus Christ?
Todd : Yeah man!
Abel : Do you swear allegiance to the prince of darkness?
Todd : I do.
Treena : It's 'I swear' Todd! Not I do!
Seamus : You're not getting married.
Treena : Jesus Christ!
Abel : You know what, watch your mouth little missy!
Treena : [screaming] I know! I know! Okay!
Abel : [yelling back] I'll wash your mouth out with soap!
Abel : One little Satanic ritual. Is that too much to ask?
[as a bunch of midgets dressed as medieval knights attack his car]
Abel : Grow up!
Abel : Be gone. Walk with Satan. Don't step on the pentagram!
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