Loser (2000)
Zak Orth: Adam
Photos
Quotes
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Adam : You gotta help me. Lisa is all primed but her helpful friend, fat Rita, will take her home unless she gets some action, too.
Noah : OK, first of all, I'm way too wasted to be operating heavy machinery. And second of all, I got this little spinner all G-ed out. She's liquid.
Adam : Leave her on the back burner. Take one for the team.
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Chris : Man, our T.G. party was a total bust. Every time I got close to hittin' it with one of those new mamas, her evil girlfriend's got to show up and screw everything up.
Adam : What we need is a higher female-to-male ratio, like in cool nightclubs, you know, where they let in five times as many women as men.
Noah : How are we gonna get five times as many women to show up?
Adam : We have a party but we call it a fundraiser.
Chris : So we gotta think of a charity.
Adam : It's gotta be the right charity. It's got to attract hotties.
Chris : Yeah.
Noah : What's that country with all the babies?
Adam : China.
Chris : Romania.
Noah : No.
Chris : But wait, I don't know about babies. No, I mean, that's going to give 'em the wrong message.
Noah : How about AIDS?
Adam : Oh, THERE'S a mood-setter.
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Chris : Whoa! Whoa! Wha-what's goin' on?
Inspector : Inspections for drugs and alcohol.
Noah : What?
Adam : Since when?
Student : O'Brien from the eighth floor's in a coma.
Chris : So?
Student : So the board instigated some new policies.
Adam : [overlapping the next two lines] That-that-that-that-that-that-that...
Noah : This is whack!
Chris : Can they even DO this?
Adam : I'm callin' my father's lawyer. Our parents pay a lot of money for us to enjoy our college experience.
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Adam : [noticing Paul's dorky hat] That is a great hat! Did the producers of Fargo have a garage sale?