- The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
- Pinky: Woof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
- The Brain: True.
- Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
- The Brain: To my knowledge, never.
- Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
- The Brain: Next to nil.
- Pinky: Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
- The Brain: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I'm pondering.
- Pinky: Poit, I guess I am.
- Dolly Parton: I'm your biggest fan, what do ya say to that?
- The Brain: I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.
- The Brain: This is the earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the earth.
- The Brain: Hurry up, Pinky, If we don't get to Carly Simon's house I'll never know if that song was about me.
- The Brain: So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker?
- Mr. Sackett: The second cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker I've sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick.
- The Brain: Pinky, you give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "counter-intelligence." You have the I.Q. of plaster.
- [the Brain's shrinking chant]
- The Brain: Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean.
- The Brain: Tomorrow night, Pinky, we will come up with a new plan. One that isn't foiled by the atomic weight of gold.
- The Brain: Enough. If this is what passes for conduct becoming of world leaders, I don't want any part of it.
- [theme song]
- Singers: They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / One is a genius, the other's insane / They're laboratory mice, their genes have been spliced / They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain brain brain brain, brain brain brain brain / Before each night is done, their plan will be unfurled / By the dawning of the sun, they'll take over the world! / They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / Their twilight campaign is easy to explain: / To prove their mousy worth, they'll overthrow the earth / They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain brain brain brain, brain brain brain brain... Narf!
- [the Brain has made a list of the 5 things needed to be a country singer]
- The Brain: Read the list to me, Pinky.
- Pinky: Okay. "Cowboy clothes."
- The Brain: Check.
- Pinky: Southern accent.
- The Brain: Check, Y'all.
- Pinky: Very good, Brain. "Working-class values."
- The Brain: I like beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.
- Pinky: A name consisting of no less than three words.
- The Brain: Just call me Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Check.
- Pinky: A height of at least six feet.
- The Brain: Che... Drats.
- The Brain: Behold, I can create fire from a little box.
- Alan: So what?
- Cannibal #1: Big deal.
- Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em.
- The Brain: I can steal your souls and put them in this glass.
- Alan: So what?
- Cannibal #1: Big deal.
- Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em.
- Pinky: I can make bubbles with my spit.
- [the cannibals gasp and begin to bow]
- The Brain: *Now* do you believe we were sent by your god?
- Alan: Naw, that's just *really cool*.