The Cannonball Run (1981)
Dom DeLuise: Victor Prinzim
Photos
Quotes
-
J.J. McClure : I'm sure that doctor's a very sweet man, basically.
Victor Prinsi : Oh, thank you.
J.J. McClure : But don't you ever tell me where you found him. Ever.
-
J.J. McClure : Listen to what I'm telling you. You go find a doctor. Get me Dr. Kildare. Get me Dr. Livingston. Get me Dr. Frankenstein. Just get me a doctor! Go where the... Go where the doctors hang out.
Victor Prinsi : Where is that?
J.J. McClure : Bars, golf courses.
Victor Prinsi : Golf course, bar. All right. Where else? Hospital!
J.J. McClure : Try that, too.
-
[J.J. and Victor are pulled over by two priests in a red Ferrari]
Victor Prinsi : Nice car, Father!
Jamie Blake : Thank you, asshole.
-
J.J. McClure : Look, we can't have a car with numbers on it. So, we're going to have to disguise the car somehow.
Victor Prinsi : Alright.
J.J. McClure : How about a big, black limousine with diplomatic plates?
Victor Prinsi : Nah!
J.J. McClure : Nah. I know! A bloodmobile! They wouldn't stop a bloodmobile, would they?
Victor Prinsi : Nah!
J.J. McClure : Nah.
Victor Prinsi : An ice cream truck! Yeah, an ice cream truck! Y'know, they gotta get there before it melts!
-
J.J. McClure : What's Dr. Gay do?
Victor Prinsi : He's my shrink. He was committed yesterday.
J.J. McClure : Why?
Victor Prinsi : He was smoking bananas. He gets very upset when he talks to 'Him'.
J.J. McClure : So do I!
-
J.J. McClure : Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have a female patient in the back. Thanks to your wonderful cousin, Tessie.
Victor Prinsi : Well, it's not my fault that she didn't fit in the stretcher!
J.J. McClure : She doesn't fit in the AMBULANCE!
-
[J.J. is pissed that Captain Chaos has disappeared]
J.J. McClure : When you don't want him, he's around! When you want him, he's not around! I'm gonna go get a beer!
Captain Chaos : DA-DA-DUM!
-
Fenderbaum : [Fenderbaum and Blake's Ferrari drives alongside J.J.'s ambulance] Pull over! We want to give you our blessing!
Victor Prinsi : J.J., there are two priests in that car. They want us to pull over.
J.J. McClure : Victor, that's two priests driving a Ferrari. When's the last time you saw two priests drive a Ferrari? What are they doing, taking home the bingo money?
Victor Prinsi : No, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster.
-
J.J. McClure : You all right, Victor?
Victor Prinsi : Oh, I'm fine, J.J. It only hurts when I point.
-
J.J. McClure : They weren't 'Fathers'!
J.J. McClure , Victor Prinsi : They were mothers!
-
Cop : [J.J. avoids a roadblock and wrecks the Porsche] What are you, some kind of nut? Who do you think you are?
Victor Prinsi : Da-dum-duuummmm! I am Captain Chaos! And this, this is my faithful companion, Cato. Say hello, Cato!
Victor Prinsi : [cop looks at Victor with disgust] Been a cop long?
-
Victor Prinsi : Thank you, Father.
Fenderbaum : Why don't you take that piece of shit back to the junkyard?
[laughs and drives away]
-
J.J. McClure : Hey, Victor! Didya get anything to eat?
Victor Prinsi : Yeah, I gotta lotta goodies for you guys and a Big Gulp Dr Pepper for me!
[singing and dancing]
Victor Prinsi : "I'm a pepper/You're a pepper/He's a pepper/She's a pepper/Wouldn't ya like to be a pepper, too?
J.J. McClure : [impatiently] WILL YOU GET IN HERE?
-
[At the Portofino Inn, Victor, in his Captain Chaos persona, saves a woman's dog from drowning in the bay and is hailed a hero, but J.J. is furious, as his selfless act cost him and J.J. the championship win]
Victor Prinsi : [as Captain Chaos] J.J., I saved that woman's dog.
J.J. McClure : [furious] Victor! We could've won that race! Do ya understand what I'm telling you? We could've won it!
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : You understand that? You had to go and pull that stupid stunt.
Pamela Glover : He's right, Victor.
J.J. McClure : We are sick of Captain Chaos. We are so sick of Captain Chaos that we could throw up. So you know what, Victor? There's not gonna be anymore Captain Chaos.
[grabs and rips the mask off Victor's head, yells]
J.J. McClure : NO MORE! Ya see what I'm telling you? NO MORE!
[snatches Victor's cape and slams it to the ground]
J.J. McClure : No more Captain Chaos, EVER! Now, what do ya think of that?
[crowd laughs as Victor seemingly feels broken-hearted over J.J.'s act of poor sportsmanship]
Victor Prinsi : I don't care, because...
[changes into a new superhero persona with an American Flag-like mask and cape]
Victor Prinsi : ... I've always wanted to be... Captain USA! Da-Da-DUM!
[J.J. and the racers laugh]
Victor Prinsi : It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it!
-
[the racers, all neck and neck, are approaching the finish line, with Mad Dog and Batman in the lead]
Mad Dog : We got 'em!
Batman : We got 'em!
[Suddenly, a car gets in the way, forcing Mad Dog & Batman's GMC truck to skid to a 180° stop. Bradford and Shakey's motorcycle slips and skids]
J.J. McClure : [screams] LOOK OUT!
[J.J. and Victor's ambulance and all the other cars come to a screeching halt]
J.J. McClure : [yells] Okay, it's a foot race!
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : I've got the card!
J.J. McClure : No, gimme that, Doc! Come on, it's a foot race!
[All the racers storm out and begin running to the finish line to see who can be the first to punch out at the time clock and win the race]
Victor Prinsi : Have no fear! Chaos is here! DA-DA-DUM!
J.J. McClure : [hands Victor the time card] Take it and win, Captain!
Pamela Glover : Come on, Chaos! You can do it!
[as Victor and Marcie sprint, J.J. jumps on the other racers, tackling them to the ground]
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : Does anyone need medical attention?
-
Pamela : Almost everything I wear is pink.
Victor Prinzim : Everything? Even...
[looks down toward groin]
Pamela : Oh, I don't wear any.
Victor Prinzim : You don't?
Pamela : Uh-uh.