IamJustTellingyouWhatIthink Reviews

Rambo: Last Blood (2019)

First act dull - Second act stupid + Someone teach Rambo how to sharpen a knife

[6/10 · 1 December 2019]

Rambo does not know how to sharpen a knife?

He is using a whetstone but instead of drawing the blade over the stone he presses it forward making the knife more dull. Well who knows maybe its to make his enemies suffer even more, but sure seemed like a stupid scene at the time.

The first hour is very boring. Then we have 15 minutes of preparation for the final blood bath and the last 15 minutes is the actual payoff.

Lame.

Joker (I) (2019)

Boring social commentary with some tacked on violence at the end.

[5/10 · 18 November 2019]

Let me start with my summary.. "Mehhh".

Why on earth this movie had to be in the DC universe I have no idea. A criminal mastermind Joaquin Phoenix's joker will never be. As a social commentary on mental illness it might have worked. But this guy is not the joker, nor is there anyway he could become the joker. He is just too sad of a character.

The tacked on violence at the end seemed like something put there as a crowd pleaser for all the people that was expecting something related to Batman. Ohh naturally they had to put in the killing of Batmans parents. I mean that way we know it has something to do with the joker right?

We were three guys in our mid thirties and we were all thoroughly bored. Well acted but not interesting.

Beyond White Space (2018)

Moby dick + deadliest catch meets space

[6/10 · 14 December 2018]

This is obviously B-movie fare. The actors, the story, even the whole idea is very much not top of the line.

BUT the production values are surprisingly good. I was frankly amazed at how well the CGI and sets stood up compared to the rest of the movie. The creatures are not as well made as the rest of the CGI, but still a fair notch above standard B movie quality.

If you are a scifi geek the world it is set in is enough to see it. The story itself is kind of lame. 5 stars for sets, CGI and space. 1 star for all the rest.

PS The guy saying that the effects are bad obviously wrote his review based on the poster and name of the movie.. No way he watched it.

Heaven & Hell (2018)

Three stars for the hair minus one for the sea sickness

[2/10 · 12 December 2018]

I heard of a handheld camera action before.. I never before experienced a crew simulate a full blown storm on open sea with a camera that had no tripod. Seriously the frame jumps a clear 30 CMs up and down while viewing ALL THE TIME!

Pretty impressive in some of the driving scenes.. How the heck did they get the car out to open sea?

The production values are very low.. Most of the budget was clearly spent on the poster. The acting.. I guess its on par with the standard C fare movie.. Below B grade for sure..

Action Point (2018)

Mindnumbingly boring movie filled with cliches

[3/10 · 20 November 2018]

It also has Johnny Knoxville in a blazer that makes him look REALLY old. I felt really old just seeing it.

It could have been good.. I liked the premise and idea.. But the stunts are WEAK and the story is so boring and cliche filled.. A father that misses an important date with his daughter because of professional obligations.. Really Johnny.. Thats where we are at now?

Its also sad to see the whole crew running around like they were 21 when its obvious we are watching men in their 40s. They kept the girls at 21 though which is a small plus.

In summary; embarrassing (but not in a good way), tired, weak and sad little movie.

No Escape Room (2018 TV Movie)

Made for tv dribble that is not at all scary. Not one bit.

[3/10 · 24 October 2018]

This made for TV "scary" movie has an interesting premise as many have remarked, but this is totally wasted on this script.

First off the score of the movie indicates its a scary movie.. But who are they trying to scare? Kindergarteners should not watch this and anyone else would find the scares derivative and lame.

Also the obvious pauses for commercials are cringe-worthy. They run up a scene, crank the volume up on the music and then.. 5 seconds of black screen. Then we are BACK!

In summary; mehhh

UFO (2018)

Pretentious, boring, poorly acted and stupid.

[2/10 · 4 September 2018]

Yeah right.. This is supposed to be an intellectual movie or what?

I saw it all the way to the end. The acting from the main protagonist was wooden and sourly. The idea that his math skills somehow gives him an edge in deciphering the alien message is ludicrous. Oh wow he calculates an objects size from its distance to the observer.. Is this a 5th grade math contest?

When all is said and done the final line in the movie really encapsulates how silly it is.. The YA hope of math sits across from the representative of a shadowy government agency that rambles through a lot of nonsense regarding his amazing math skills.. Finally he says to the guy "Do you know what all this means?" ... Expecting some high flying answer that might finally give this movie some edge I moved closer to the screen... "It means we are not ALONE!"...

No s*** Sherlock, we knew that premise from the first 2 minutes of the movie. Great we saw you using your superior math Skillz throughout 2 hours to arrive at this answer..

This is the stupid mans answer to an intellectual movie. Also all the actors were really poor and the dialogue even worse.

Kidding (2018–2020)

Heavy duty

[7/10 · 31 August 2018]

This is hard to review. Carreys personal life experiences shine through in this slightly bizarre look at tackling grief.

This is certainly a bleak comedy and the hardships of the protagonist and his family is put on ample display in the first episode. Its a little hard to discern where the series will go from here, but its certain that it is attempting to put forth some of the hardest issues of life in a dark comedy setting.

Its probably just a tad to bleak for my taste, but again he is trying to tackle some of the issues most of us prefer not tackling before its forced upon us. As such I commend this attempt of bringing tabued subjects into the spotlight and shining a light on how we all process grief in our different ways.

Myself; I am still in a place in life where I prefer to keep the blinders down. Healthy? Perhaps not. And maybe I will come back to this when there are more episodes and I feel like developing my person.

Corbin Nash (2018)

Cringe worthy and messy origin (?) story

[2/10 · 21 April 2018]

Ohh my this was really bad. And not in a good way, but in the "I feel really sorry for these guys" cringe worthy kind of way.

I am not sure if it supposed to be a pilot for a possible tv show or what the deal was but as a standalone movie this does not work at all.

Maybe if they had a decent editor there might have been some sort of coherence to the story, but as it stands its a mess. Guess its supposed to be an origin story? The byline here at IMDB that describes the movie is the ending. Getting there is confusing and NOT AT ALL scary in the very least bit.

The main antagonist, Cory Feldman, as a cross dressing bloodthirsty john was probably supposed to be scary (?) but comes across as a sad sack of you know what. Its a spoof on Buffalo Bill from silence of the lambs, but where he came across as disturbed in a disconcerting manner, Feldman's Bill just feels sad. You simply cant help feeling sorry for him and his mediocre personage. Is this really the best they could do for a bad guy?

Ohhh yes there is another guy in the shadows somewhere but I guess they saved him for the series.

To summarize, its not scary. Its incoherent and its all been done and seen before, the main protagonist is as forgettable as they come and the main antagonist is sad and embarrassing.

I really wanted to like this.. But its just not worth seeing. The poster is OK though.

The Man from Earth (2007)

Seriously? - This is mindblowing to you?

[2/10 · 24 January 2018]

Derivative, simple, illogical and boring.

If you are blown away by the simplest of thought experiments, born to life by a inadequate text writer, burdened by boring characters and child like acting, then this is your flick.

I mean the heaps of people announcing this to be a masterpiece must all be from the USA. If you have an IQ of above 100 you will be bored.

The guy survived 14K years but is not very bright and does not claim to be. For him to survive even 500 years without having an accident he would need to be extremely bright and resourceful, not just another neighbour from the trailer that happened not to age.

What oversold crap.