Bakkeneko Reviews

Saltburn (2023)

All bloat and zero substance

[1/10 · 21 February 2024]

Another irredemable movie that tries to pretend shock value and demoralization for its own sake as very clever and artistic.

It wasn't when Passolini did it and it still isn't in the millionth attempt at the same boring trite concepts. These filmakers are trying to "deconstruct" a pile of mush at this point, postmodernism is dead and buried but sadly its corpse still linger and nothing else can't replace it.

The main character look like its 50 years old, everyone looks extremely old for their roles in fact and the cinematography makes it even more obvious by the constant intrusive up close shots . The editing looks like what a 15 yr old on tumblr would think its very deep but nothing really connects to a cohesive narrative, its all over the place and just serves to drag on , the art direction is ugly as sin as well as the photography and editing, every shot of this movie is just ugly and boring.

There's no aspect of this movie that is enjoyable or worthwhile , not the characters (all extremely unlikable and uncanny), not the uninspired setting and themes, not the visuals. I am sorry for people who paid money to see this, i would have walked out and ask for a refund.

Euphoria (2019– )

No substance

[2/10 · 29 June 2022]

Theres nothing to this show beyond good camera movement. Thats the short version.

Visuals are completely wasted , so much than rather than adding value it just makes the show pretentious because no matter how good some cinematography is whats happening on the screen is just really, really bad. Its a very cringy feeling when the show takes itself so seriously but there's no possible way you'd have an emotional connection to the story or care about the stakes of whats happening.

Characters are all unrelatable, there's no one in the cast to root for, not a single one has redeemable qualities, they are not even convincing as exagerations of real people, there's nothing resembling a real person much less a person you'd feel empathic for or god forbid, actually like.

Every scene goes for cheap shock value, just throwing sexual degeneracy and vice. The show lacks any real message beyond nihilism and hedonism.

There's no real chemistry between the characters, you never know why they care about each other or why should you care about them, its all so contrived, melodramatic scenes play out with very over the top editing and yet... there's no meat, its pointless, hollow and shallow. For example everyone is constantly repeating how beautiful and a great person Jules, you never see it, in every scene this character is getting high, hooking up and acting extremely dumb, like an actual toddler with a cognitive issues, nothing she says or does conveys what the show wants you to think about the character, it makes no sense why the protagonist is infatuated, why Nate is infatuated. Same with the relationship between Rue and her drug dealer. Just because a character says how they feel doesn't mean its going to make sense or be convincing, this show is terribly written and instead of visually narrating character development all it narrates is gratuitous debauchery.

Titane (2021)

pretentious

[1/10 · 2 January 2022]

Only shock value, no real substance, perfect for soy drinkers who like to pretend that they "get it"

Brave and stunning, marvelous, revolutionary. 1/10.

Lamb (2021)

Pointless

[2/10 · 2 January 2022]

No real reason to have the fantasy premise at all. You can't call it horror because there's really not much of it, is more of a slice of life drama that just focuses on the everyday and mundane, it doesn't deliver and the payoff of sitting through it is not worth it, you just get three characters akwardly interacting, if at all and the fantasy element used as an excuse to frame the movie might as well not been included at all as it adds nothing.

Dune (2021)

Bland, dull and unnecesary

[2/10 · 29 October 2021]

Quite a boring watch, visually is just more minimalistic blandness that tries nothing new, all the character seem to be made of cardboard and every scene is incredibly long winded as if the movie takes itself too seriously. At least the Lynch version was trying to add flare and creativity into the universe, this version didn't even try.

The epic music score is good but at the same time is extremely overused af if that is supposed to add depth to ultimately shallow characters and conflicts. The ending was more of a relief than something that gets me excited to see more.

JJ Villard's Fairy Tales (2020)

Shallow and mean spirited

[2/10 · 14 May 2020]

There's so much that offending for offending sake's can take you, specially in this day and age when that is truly meaningless.

Instead of being genuinely subversive this show just takes the immature route of being gratuitously gross and offensive, there is very little cleverness unless you find characters making wonky random faces with random wonky editing something that creative or endearing. It feels like it tries to be an edgier version of the first season of south park but made by someone that did not understood anything that made a show like south park appealing when it first aired, and of course, this comes more than 20 years later after south park aired, when no one really cares about the "oh no they didn't" type of grade school humor that looks like it came out of the mind of the cartoonist protagonist played by Tom Green in "freddy got fingered" or some highschool flash animator in the early 00s newsgrounds.

Be assured, I am not rating the show so low because i am morally appalled or because i am queasy but rather because i found it trite and thoroughly unpleasant, not because of the controversial nature but for the lack of any redeemable features or a genuine intention to be creative or funny accompanying it. This show is just a compilation of mean spirited bits thrown against a wall expecting some kind of special gold star for being "so out there"

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Pointless. No substance at all, just an excuse to cash on the brand of the first film

[3/10 · 26 April 2020]

I really see no reason why this movie was made. It has no real suspense and the buildup leads to nothing, its plot is cliche as they come akin to any superhero film and the whole highlight of the films seems to be references to the original movie, not even references but 1:1 remake shots of the original film, just why? why is this a thing? Great, danny is on his father footsteps, but whats the point and why should i care? you expect it to all come together but after 3 hours there is no payoff, you waster the time and money, the whole message is "yeah, the kubrick film is cool". Scenes drag on forever, it tries to use some of kubricks techniques but it lacks any sense of pacing and weight to it. I don't care about any of the characters, everyone is a placeholder to move the weak plot forward and you basically now how is going to play out 30 minutes in.

But yeah, cool you got a jack Nicholson impersonator to remake the entire bar sequence , cool, danny is the one with the axe in the stair sequence, cool, some random character i don't care about is on the maze. I definitely needed to watch a tricicle sequence with a new kid actor, Redrum?? omg, i remember that!!! references you guys!!! that what makes a sequel good!!

Get Out (I) (2017)

overhyped bait film with no redeeming qualities

[1/10 · 25 February 2020]

This is not just an overrated movie, this is a terrible movie, lets get that straight first and foremost.

In all aspects from the screenplay to the art direction and film techniques this movie is trite, below average and exploitative, the acting is awful, the plot is a refried dumb cliche of a lowbrow dumb horror movie, there is no drama, no comedy, no horror, nothing thats worth saving, this movie conveys nothing of value, it has zero emotion is not even so bad its entertaining, its so bad is frustating and i wanted to honor the name and Get Out of the room.Make no mistake, This is even bad for the b movie category and the low budget slasher horror genre and that is saying something. I see no other reason for the hype other than an obvious political agenda and that alone not be so terrible if the movie wasnt as bad as it is and its themes so shallow, and mean spirited

This movie poses no debate and ask no questions worth considering, it simply puts forward it racism and expects you to praise it for it, which the acedemy seemed to do. I've never been head over heels about the oscars but nominating this is a travesty, even today it is ·number one or at least top five in "movies of the decade" list, showing how journalists and professional critics are in a debacle and so badly disconnected from reality, the audiences and moviemaking they basically get paid to make clowns of themselves, give banal excuses to praise smut while they insult the audiences intelligences throwing around buzzwords and smug political slogans , becoming a satire of themselves.

Get Out (I) (2017)

trite and offensive race baiting

[1/10 · 20 June 2018]

This is one of the worst movies i have seen in recent times. It is in every aspect a cheap movie with mediocre cinematography and direction (at best) but with an aggravating script and insultingmeta narrative.

The whole point of this film is to insult white people , thats it, is a racist movie filled with every cliche and stereotype you can think off to serve as a metaphore for how awfully bad meanies the white race is.. Every scene in this movie is cringe inducing, not because a masterfully crafted tension but how presuntuos it is and because of the irony of a movie that is so blatantly racist yet still thinks is making a point in denouncing racism.

This is a short versio of the whole script:

"See what i did there? it is a reference to a meme about race, did you get it? really? did you get it? is smart and polemic, did you get it? because all white people are bad, and she is white and she is drinking white milk? is symbolic see what i did there? but really , did you get how white and bad they are? DID YOU GET IT? CLEVER ISN´T?

This entire film is an insult to the viewers intelligence. it is nothing but a very mediocre B movie that tries so hard to be more than it is by pushing for a polemic narrative that doesn´t have a leg to stand on. The acting is terrible, the drama is weak , is not funny, is not scary, all the characters are one dimensional stereotypes, the direction and script is full of the worst tropes and cheap devices you are already sick of seeing and the fact that this movie is getting so much praise is baffling as is not even good for a tv movie, much less an oscar nomination. I feel like the world is going mad as i read trough the reviews