qdude440 Reviews

National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)

Typical trash, save only a good lead performance...

[3/10 · 20 September 2005]

National Lampoon's Van Wilder is everything you'd expect it to be judging alone from the trailers and the cover. Its another bad Animal House teen 'raunchy' comedy rip off. There really isn't much to go by here. Overall, its a largely unfunny, predictable clichéd teen comedy.

Ryan Reynolds gives a good, convincing enough jig however as the title character. Van Wilder has been at Coolidge University for 7 years now {this is mentioned about every other minute in the movie, clearly the film's 'star' joke}. Somehow, his father doesn't realize this but once he finally finds out in an early scene, he decides to stop paying the tuition for his son's education. Wilder is your typical party rat, a person who apparently never sleeps or does his work, yet somehow manages to stay in school all this time. Now, Wilder must decide whether to change his ways or to leave his friends and leave school. The character is pretty unlikeable, but Reynolds almost succeeds in making us like him at several points of the film.

The film is quite predictable. I don't want to spoil the ending for anyone, really, but just in case you haven't guessed it yet, the highly unlikeable protagonist changes his ways and gets the 'hot girl' at the end, of course, this whole setup is ridiculous to begin with, but even by playing along with it, it feels empty and hollow. Each character, scene, and joke is plotted in a conventionally clichéd way. The characters are all two dimensional, black and white types. Ala Animal House, the villain of course is an obnoxious, rich, preppy, stuck up, fraternity president type, spotted right off the bat. We can quickly smell each scene coming, and unless you've either never seen one of these types of films before or are just living under a rock, its quite easy to see where every scene is going.

Among the film's prized jokes are: An erotic dancer farting in the face of several men, along with a number of other flatulence jokes, a man putting his lips on another man's 'pump', mistaking it for a cup, a group of grammar school children getting drunk and proceeding to vomit from the windows of their school-bus, the antagonist having a case of explosive diarrhea, his feces ending up in a garbage can in front of onlookers {a scene strangely familiar to the toilet/diarrhea scene in American Pie}, and of course the clichéd, horny foreign exchange student. Many of these jokes and moments simply do not work at all.

There are very few laughs to go around in this clichéd, annoyingly predictable and familiar college party flick. Despite some heartfelt performances, the film fails on most every level, especially as a comedy. Only recommendable to young, immature teenagers.

3/10

Silver Bullet (1985)

Good Werewolf Film

[7/10 · 9 September 2005]

Silver Bullet is a good, straightforward adaptation of Stephen King's novella 'Cycle of the Werewolf'. There are some suspenseful scenes dotted about, and its a nice story about how a disabled person can overcome their disability to ultimately succeed {ala Forrest Gump}.

Marty {Corey Haim} is the protagonist, a handicapped boy who lives in a lazy Maine town and one summer discovers more than he bargained for in the form of a werewolf. Narrated by his older sister {as an adult}, Marty and the rest of the town are shocked by several brutal 'murders'. After several people close to him are killed, Marty becomes sure of what he's suspected all along: Its a werewolf. Naturally, no one believes him and the attacks continue. It is not until his alcoholic uncle {Gary Busey} eventually comes to his aid that Marty is able to prove what he's known all along.

The film is predictable in parts and the film leaves no cliffhanger in store for the ending, but there are some suspenseful scenes along the way and the film captures the general atmosphere of King's story quite well. For a werewolf movie, though its a simpleton story, its quite good. The film is named after the only material that can kill the werewolf, and Marty's nicknamed motorized wheelchair. Its a fun story with level headed direction and performances, which keeps it going despite its sometimes slow pace.

Recommended to werewolf fans, though its not really a pro typical horror film in the end.

7/10

Gremlins (1984)

Fun little monster flick

[8/10 · 22 August 2005]

Gremlins is the fun little monster flick that spawned a slew of ripoffs {Ghoulies, Critters}, a sequel, and the PG-13 rating. Its fun, funny, and noisy all at the same time.

The film centers around a postcard-ish little town, with all the usual characters: The nice kid, the pretty girl, the arrogant fool, the grouchy old woman, the stupid police officers, and the friendly neighbors. When Billy's dad, a struggling inventor, wanders off to Chinatown to get his son a gift, he has no idea what he's in for when he finds a box with a furry little creature named Gizmo. There are some rules surrounding Gizmo: Don't expose him to sunlight, don't feed him after midnight, and don't EVER get him wet. Of course, rules were meant to be broken...

The madness that ensues is, sometimes frightening, sometimes hilarious, and sometimes gross. The violence was enough to help spawn the PG-13 rating. The performances are likable despite a clichéd and a bit silly script, and the film has a nice holiday feel to it that makes it fun to watch around Dec. 25. Its also not a bad children's horror movie, with plenty of funny scenes {carroling gremlins, drinking gremlins, Snow White gremlin fans}.

Gremlins is by no means a flawless film, but its just what the doctor ordered. It gives you a nice, fun story, and some likable characters {and creatures}. It helped give a rebirth to the little green monster genre that fired up in the 80's, and continued to show Joe Dante's talent as a director who blended absurd horror and absurder comedy.

8/10

They Live (1988)

Z Grade becomes A Grade

[9/10 · 22 August 2005]

They Live is John Carpenter's tribute to cheesy 50's sci-fi movies, combining the sci-fi with a feel of grit and action, as well as some interesting social commentary that goes as far to talk about how the Reagen Administration propagates rampant consumerism and brainwashes the public so easily. Its an unlikely place to find such messages, but like the magazines with CONSUME written on the 'inside', seen only with special glasses, They Live conceals its true core and gives audiences a bit of everything, transforming the film into something of a hidden message keeper itself. .

Nada {Piper}, is a wandering man with no particular place to go, representing blue collar America in Carpenter's tale. After arriving at an outdoor homeless shelter, he soon begins to suspect something strange is going on, especially after a brutal police raid. By accident, he discovers some plastic sunglasses, that show a whole 'nother side to the world. Piper sums it up best with the line, 'You see, I take these glasses off, she looks like a regular person doesn't she huh? Put e'm back on: formaldehyde face!'.

After discovering the secret hidden alien world, Nada first attempts going rampant, then thinks better of it. After a classically overdone fight scene, Nada teams up with Frank {David} and joins a group of people who are attempting to overthrow the domineering aliens.

Underneath, their battle represents the minority's struggle against the big bad American government, but on the outside, its just a noisy, fun alien adventure. There is a plot hole or two, some bad alien makeup, and a few cheesy scenes, but its hard not to like this film as an action/sci-fi adventure, and its hard not to appreciate the layers of commentary Carpenter manages to cleverly conceal here. Maybe not everyone's cup of tea, but it should be recommended to any action, sci-fi, or Carpenter fans for the underrated 'hell of an adventure' film this is.

9/10

Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

So so spoof

[5/10 · 22 August 2005]

Not Another Teen Movie is the hit and miss spoof of the teen 'comedy' genre of the late 90's, spoofing films in the same fashion as Scary Movie did one year earlier. A lot of Not Another Teen Movie feels forced, and some of it is just too silly for words, but other moments are genuinely funny and some of the actors shine in their roles. But in the end, Not Another Teen Movie almost seems to become what it strives to make fun of, another teen movie, with jokes aimed strictly for 12 year olds.

For the most part, Not Another Teen Movie seems to spoof She's All That, with the same central plot, a hot shot high school jock is dumped by his girlfriend and so decides to make a bet that he can take the most hopeless girl and turn her into prom queen. Along the way, the film spoofs just about every other late 90's teen flick, and film references all over the place. In the final act, the film seems to almost directly follow the plot of these teen films, offering only a few 'new' moments for the audience to reflect on. For the most part, these teen films that the movie spoofs are just about as funny as Not Another Teen Movie. At times, it really is hard to see the difference between a Varsity Blues and a Not Another Teen Movie. They're almost identical.

Some of the cast shines though in their roles, Randy Quaid is solid as always as the no name soon to be prom queen Laney's drunken father, and there are funny references and quotes here and there and funny cameos by Molly Ringwald and Melissa Joan Hart, poking fun at themselves. The script is at times quite weak, but some of the duller moments in the film are made a bit brighter by some of the actors. The film's jokes also variate, going from strictly disgusting, gross out, and low grade, to a silly slapstick brand of comedy.

In summary, Not Another Teen Movie is no Airplane, not even a Scary Movie, but some funny moments make up for the weak talent behind it all and prevent it from being another Spy Hard or Silence of the Hams. It suffers from some central flaws, and is inconsistent, but is not the worst way to waste 90 minutes, and there are enough moments in here to make adult film buffs chuckle.

5/10

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

A captivating, yet flawed, masterpiece

[10/10 · 20 August 2005]

Steven Spielberg's war time drama Saving Private Ryan, often get's recognition as the greatest war film ever. I think that opinion is wrong, but it certainly may be the most realistically shot, hard edged war film of all time. It is a masterpiece, not without its strong points, yet certainly not without a number of flaws that prevent this from being a true classic, any which way you bend it.

The story starts out with an elderly man visiting the Arlington National Cemetery, visiting his fallen comrades of 60+ years. The movie takes place around the events of D-Day, June 6, 1944, starting with a captivating and harrowing battle sequence showing us young ones, such as myself, just what it may have been like in WWII combat. The gore, violence, and cries are all very real, and little is left to the audience's imagination, we can even get a taste of what the characters are thinking and/or seeing.

After the 20 minute battle sequence, we find that a boy, Pvt. James Ryan, has lost all 3 of his brothers, and by government orders, he is forced to leave combat and return home. Most of the film focuses around the troop of American soldiers who go through hell to find him.

After the Normandy scene, the plot rarely really thickens, and arguably is no longer as convincing or as interesting. The script is painfully cliché and average, and there really isn't much in the way of character development. Spielberg makes the most out of what he's given, occasionally going for the visual eye candy, and occasionally slowing the pace down and attempting to give the film some serious emotional momentum.

Spielberg attempts to show both sides of the war, but too often falls back on his own personal bias, attempting to cause the audience to emotionally stir and get their juices flowing, often when there's not much juice to flow and not many emotions to be stirred. Sometimes he tries to tackle the challenge of making a mountain from a mole hill. These scenes occasionally work, yet they too often feel forced and empty, such as the over done, unequivocal Allie death scenes, which try too hard to force a response from the audience's mouthes.

The story takes a few jolts, and is never really predictable, despite the often clichéd telling of the going-ons, but after awhile it seems a bit two dimensional.

One thing I did like was the use of the character of Ryan {until the end} as a metaphor. Spielberg uses his name as a metaphor at times for the freedom these men might never again see, freedom they might never find again. Ryan represents peace, and they just can't find it, not even amongst themselves. As I said, the film is at times visually stunning, and the acting performances really help in some cases to bring life to otherwise dead characters. Tom Hanks is riveting as usual, refusing to be held back by the dulled script.

The very ending actually left me bitterly disappointed. Its not that I was appalled by the patriotic message, Spielberg is perfectly entitled to make a film that celebrates the American dream of Freedom, but I was mad that the film once again decided to tell/show us everything. That's the problem. Far too often Saving Private Ryan shows us too much, not leaving anything up to our imaginations. As a war film, it should show us a lot, but the overall messages in the film are whetted down by further scenes that could have worked better if they had remained out of the film. The ending could have worked on several different levels, but instead Spielberg almost tarnishes the would be message of the film, by showing an emotional 5 minute end scene with elderly Ryan and his family. I was a bit disappointed with what Spielberg left, or rather didn't leave, up to us, the audience to decide for ourselves.

The film is at times guilty of shoving attained beliefs down our throat. But Saving Private Ryan still has plenty of good, heartfelt moments that interlude over the bad, and for that it still works as a movie, but certainly suffers from several near fatal flaws.

7/10

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

I can't say I didn't enjoy it

[6/10 · 15 August 2005]

Maximum Overdrive. Where do I start? This unholy mess of movie-making, also the directing debut {and to no surprise, finale} of author Stephen King, makes for a fun, cult classic.

We open in Wilmington, North Carolina, where some space probe that's never really brought up into discussion, has gone awry and now for some reason all machines are turning on man. The soda machines are popping out cans everywhere, the bridge is malfunctioning, the steamrollers are rolling people, and the trucks? The trucks are mad as hell, and they're not going to take it anymore! The story revolves around a group of people held up at a truck stop, where they fight for their lives and their sanity as the trucks turn on them.

So the story is cheese, the acting over the top, the script bad, and every 'serious' scene is actually a laugh out loud comedic moment. So WHY on Earth did I give it a 6? Well, to put it best, I don't really know. There's just an overall fun feel, from the AC/DC score to the feeling of never being bored. The trucks are fun to watch as they go crazy, crashing every which way, and the film is made in a way that let's you know we're not expected to take it seriously. So bad its good really.

So if you're looking for some intellectual film, look further. If you're looking for a scary horror flick from the Master of Horror, look further. But if you're looking for a fun and entertaining way to kill a Saturday evening, B movie style, look no further than Maximum Overdrive.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Attention Zombie Shoppers

[10/10 · 23 July 2005]

Dawn of the Dead is George A. Romero's follow up to the 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead. Whereas Night before it and Day and Land of the Dead after it contained more of a realistic sense of dark, apocalyptic mayhem, Dawn of the Dead provides space for that plus a lot of social satire. It contains more 'fun' moments than those three films combined. Not to say its better than them, but it certainly has more of a lighter edge. As has probably been said, its not just one of the greatest sequels of all time, but one of the greatest horror movies as well.

The film centers around 4 people, who escape the mayhem of Philadelphia in a helicopter, and with a stroke of luck come across an abandoned mall. The film follows up on Night of the Living Dead's zombie epidemic perfectly. The world has gotten a little more prepared but isn't still yet used to the whole idea of zombies. People, instead of working together, have gone off and formed their little own survival cliques, as evidenced throughout the movie.

Peter {Foree}, Steven {Emge}, Fran {Ross], and Roger {Reiniger} eventually take hole in the mall and use it to their advantage. After clearing out the mess of undead, they move in fully and have the mall all to themselves. Its with the mall that the film shows how consumerism can take over the mind, no matter where or when. The film's social commentary is perfect for its time, and Romero uses the mall as a tool for his point.

Once again, the zombies aren't the human's biggest enemy in this film. The human survivors fall back, and even with a hoard of flesh eating zombies around, all the survivors can do is fight with each other. Sometimes, we the audience feels propelled to believe that the zombie race may be a bit smarter in ways than the human race.

But even with the darker undertones, the film still has a light feel to it. The humans routinely take advantage of the zombies lack of brains. Some scenes are actually downright comedic {And I believe the humor is plenty intentional}. The zombie makeup effects were groundbreaking in their day, and still can pack a punch today if you're not used to graphic gore. Not to mention a classic soundtrack, ranging from catchy library track music to a rock score performed by director Dario Argento's band Goblin.

Even though the production values may feel campy, this is not a film to be missed. It is fun to watch, contains great character depth, and unlike the recent Land of the Dead, the social commentary doesn't feel forced at all. Out of all the zombie films, this remains the quintessential epic even nearly 30 years later.

Ordinary People (1980)

Great Family Drama

[10/10 · 20 July 2005]

This is a powerful directing debut from Robert Redford, a great family drama that goes every which way but down. By the end, our thoughts have been altered a bit and its a film that leaves you thinking.

Conrad, played brilliantly by Timothy Hutton in an Oscar winning role, is the depressed suicidal son of a couple struggling to cope with their son's drowning death. Conrad of course feels responsible, and has already tried to take his own life once before.

Reluctantly, he begins to see a shrink at the advice of his father. Dr. Berger, also played brilliantly by Judd Hirsch {though there are no slouches in the cast}, helps Conrad through thick and thin. By the end of the movie, the audience truly feels for all characters to some degree.

As has been stated, the acting is magnificent. The story may seem simple but this type of film really doesn't need a heavy plot. Its an excellent look at the problems we all face. When I first saw this at a young age I related completely to Conrad's character. When I saw this tonight, I related more to the adults and could really feel for them a lot more than I remembered. Each character has a unique sense of reality to them. The actors really carry the film, making the characters seem like real people we've known for years.

Unfortunately this movie has received somewhat of a bad reputation over the years as the film that beat Raging Bull in 1980 for the Best Picture and Director Oscars. While both movies are excellent, its sad that one has to be better than the other and people just don't enjoy both movies for what they are. Many people have preconceived opinions about this 'small' film they have not heard of. After all, Raging Bull is an all time classic. Just watch this movie with an open mind, because it really works on every level as a powerful family drama detailing the persona of many different types of people.

The Evil Dead (1981)

The Most Fun You'll Ever Have Being Grossed Out

[10/10 · 19 July 2005]

A truly entertaining low budget masterpiece that put Mr. Spiderman on the map. While the effects are cheap, they are still effective in doing what they set out to do.

5 college kids are on for a fun weekend in the Tennessee woods. They arrive at their small isolated cabin, and by accident come across The Book of the Dead. They play a tape they found with it, read from the book, and summon up the spirits of the evil dead. As the night goes on, The Woods come alive {literally} and soon the spirits have possessed one member of the group.

The results into watching this are different for all. Some are entertained by the nonstop horror/violence, and some are scared witless by the demon like spirits that possess the kids. I myself fell in between the two groups. The movie has great horror movie elements and is also a great fantasy/action like movie. Its entertaining and fun, but not a comedy film, whereas the two sequels are.

By the end of the film a heroine has sprung up in the form of Ash {Campbell}. Its a fun movie that will have you literally cringing at some parts and falling back at others. It may not be for all tastes but certainly should be respected by all for what it is.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Zombie Breeder

[10/10 · 19 July 2005]

The movie that bred the zombie genre is as good as you think. Its lost some of its power to shock, but has still stood the test of time perfectly.

We start out with Johnny and his sister Barbara at a cemetery to place a wreath on their father's grave. This is just where the story starts but is one of the best scenes in film history. What follows is an adventure that's more than just a popcorn horror fare. It speaks to the audience, people, about our reactions to crisis scenarios. Its scary to this day, I myself prefer the slow moving zombies who lurch forward at an inch per hour.

Of course the film centers around 7 people in the farmhouse, wading off the zombies hoping simply to get out and survive. They all have the same goals, but we can see the chaotic ways they set out to accomplish them. It was a perfect movie for the time it was released, even speaking on some levels about the racism in everyday situations in America. The effects may look cheesy but they are just a subplot, as are the zombies themselves. The zombies still are effective in how they are shown and portrayed, and the end is both disturbing and realistic, a harrowing touch of 60's reality to an otherwise 'fantasy' element type film.

In summary its the perfect zombie film to start off a generation of zombie films. It speaks on a grand scale to audiences and still is just as good today as it always has been. See it at all costs even if you're not a fan of this type of stuff. One final word of advice, never see the ridiculous 30th Anniversary Edition. Just hope you can find an original copy of the original film.

Darkness Falls (2003)

Some Potential... Poor Result

[2/10 · 19 July 2005]

Darkness Falls is one of those movies with some potential, one where you find yourself scratching your head in the end, saying 'where did this go wrong?' Well, Darkness Falls has so many 'wrongs', that its hard to pinpoint exactly where.

The movie starts out promisingly enough with a spooky legend being told about how a woman known as The Tooth Fairy was wrongfully lynched and how her spirit lives on in the town of Darkness Falls, trying to murder children on the night they lose their final tooth. Apparently she's in for revenge on the children, ala Freddy Krueger, and the ghost/killer aspect of the film makes it interesting to a degree. Yet from here on... it just goes straight downhill.

Nearly every character is one you want to pound in the face. The protagonist is so sporadic in his actions and annoying, that we find ourselves rooting for the Tooth Fairy. Hurry up and kill the guy! The script and direction take away any atmosphere and horror this one could have had and just flushes it down the toilet, but apparently the filmmakers thought the cheap jump scares were enough to fuel the 'horror'. However, there are many unintentionally funny scenes, such as the entire finale, set in a hospital and lighthouse, where nurses 'fly away' into the night, and a ridiculous bar fight scene. The acting is both pathetically funny and annoyingly bad, the script is formulaic and contrived, the CGI tooth fairy looks fake, and there are enough stupid plot holes to make Ed Wood Jr. scratch his head in amazement. For example, how have so many people lived in Darkness Falls over the years, having lost their final tooth, without ever seeing this tooth fairy that supposedly wants to murder them? Why have only a select few ever seen this spirit? This, and others, are never explained.

By the end, its a boring train wreck of a movie, even though its less than 80 minutes long, that disappoints on all ends. My hope is in a few years someone will take the theme of this movie and just completely do a 180 with this thing. It had some potential, and then we found out what type of filmmakers were behind this. With a similar story {without the numerous inconsistencies}, and some real horror to fuel the story, this could turn out okay. Unfortunately, in this horror-mystery disaster, the only mystery is who the hell greenlighted this pitiful waste of celluloid?

With a good filmmaker, the film has potential, with a bad one, well, we've seen the results already.