Glock_Boy Reviews

Dallas Buyers Club (2013)

He must have starved himself for months for this role.

[9/10 · 21 February 2014]

I didn't have the foggiest clue what this was about when I Plexed it on my Roku. I was quickly pulled in by the excellent performances throughout the film.

This is McConaughey's best performance of his career, in my estimation. You can not believe how sick he looks and solidly believable this was. It was hard to look at him in that condition - and the preparation for this movie must have been massive.

By now you know this is about the explosion of HIV and AIDS cases and the struggles of people trying to survive it against all odds and greedy Big Pharma.

The real jewel here is McConaughey's completely believable performances delivered with razor-like execution.

This one is a keeper and I guess I never knew what a great actor this guy is. Now I know.

Honestly, between this and Philadelphia - this wins by a long shot. It is gritty and rough around the edges and all-in-all great entertainment.

All Is Lost (2013)

I was lost - that's for sure.

[4/10 · 21 February 2014]

My family and I wanted to love this movie like we loved Castaway. But it wasn't in the cards.

I think Redford is an awesome actor, there is no disputing that. But this one is a clunker.

My main gripe with the movie is that it is essentially unbelievable.

There is no way that a seasoned sailor would be at sea without an EPIRB beacon device. That's the first major inescapable problem. Why does the life raft have everything but an EPIRB? Doesn't make sense.

Secondly, every opportunity for rescue is met by the Redford moving in infuriatingly slow motion at critical moments. He plans for days and days to enter a major shipping channel, and then just when a giant ship approaches, he's not ready with a flair or anything.

And ... he doesn't learn from his mistake. So it repeats itself with him firing a flair (but after the second ship has already passed him). Utterly and completely non-believable.

It's also hard for me to believe that giant cargo ships are regularly not watching the sea in front of them to make sure they are not running over small vessels and yellow life rafts.

Is it common for boats to sail blindly while the captain sleeps for hours below deck? Don't they drop anchor or something? That seems highly unfeasible to me.

I don't know the first thing about sailing. But if you have a crippled boat (sails intact) and you see a giant storm in the distance. Wouldn't you either sail away from or around the storm? Once you are in the storm, wouldn't you fasten everything down and drop sails instead of waiting for the storm to tear it to pieces before taking action?

The ending was just pathetic. Awful, in fact. Interpretation is left up to the viewer as to what it all means - but what it meant to us was a complete waste of two hours of our time. I like happy endings and things wrapped up neatly. You get none of that with this movie.

If you are wanting a couple frustratingly ambiguous hours in front of the TV, here you go. You will shake your head and say "what the ..." many times.

Man of Steel (2013)

If you have seen it once, you have seen it a thousand times

[5/10 · 27 December 2013]

So my fam and I went into this movie hoping for a more adult version of Superman. I was hoping for new twists, better CGI, adult dialogue, mind-blowing cinematography, interesting characters, believable scenarios (within reason, of course), and something that generally would be more interesting than what we have been forced-fed in the past by Hollywood.

The movie started strong and quickly but quickly devolved into mind numbingly boring fight scenes that dragged on for what seemed like days.

Let's start with the length of the film. Far too long. You will catch yourself (and family) laughing every time you think it's about to end and it doesn't. It taunts you a second, third, fourth, and fifth time in very unamusing ways.

The characters are boring (well, except for maybe the dad).

There was so much potential with this story. There could have been a great apocalyptic moment of world wide survival against an enemy here in the flavor of The Walking Dead, but no such luck. We were treated instead to another long drawn out fight scene with the same CGI fight techniques used over and over hundreds of times.

By the end of the movie I was reading the paper instead of watching the TV. And I HATE reading the paper!!!

7.4 IMDb? Really? This rating system is seriously flawed.

After Earth (2013)

Only M Knight could make Will Smith boring

[3/10 · 17 October 2013]

I thought Will's son did a great job in Karate Kid. Honestly, I was totally intrigued by that performance and thought to myself that we were seeing a real future actor there. M. Knight destroyed all hope of that. The kid in this movie is irritating at best, crying and fearful at every turn - to the point that you hoped an eagle would fly down and eat him. Oh so close... I could hardly understand what he was saying half the time because of the ridiculous fake accent (at least I hope it was fake).

The movie slogs along with Will acting completely emotionless - which gets real boring after about 10-minutes. I swear I kept looking at the clock wondering when it was going to end.

When the happy ending finally came, I was not at all happy. I was, however, perturbed that I invested yet more money in M. Knight. I'd have much better odds playing Keno at the local bar.

My only question is ... what other great actor can M. Knight take down? And who is willing to take the risk next time? And why would ANYONE think next time will be any different?

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Damnit man, I'm an Actor, not a Doctor!

[9/10 · 20 September 2013]

Set aside the confusing concept of traversed warped space time travel in explaining sequels vs prequels in Star Trek episodes and you will be a much happier reviewer. For me it is all about the look and feel of the film. If it feels like Star Trek, if it looks like Star Trek, if the Enterprise is completely believable, that's pretty much all I need. I grew up with the original Star Trek so the Enterprise has a very fond place in my heart. I just absolutely love the latest versions of the ship and the CGI is just so utterly fantastic that it's hard to describe. It's so real I want to go sign-up with the Starfleet Academy, but I can't seem to find the address anywhere. The movie itself was fine. Revisiting the old arch enemy was OK. The characters are fantastic. As far as I'm concerned, Abrams can keep pumping these films out every couple of years and I will faithfully never lose interest. Keep up the great work!

Now You See Me (I) (2013)

Nonsensical fun that just doesn't compute

[5/10 · 20 September 2013]

With such a cast of characters, once can't help by being pulled into the movie at the start. It had great promise, and provided a nice alternative to the usual dreck spilling out of Hollywood these days. But as time progressed, it was impossible to stay connected to the happenings on the screen. Nonsensical plot twists, irrational logic, silly background music all provided distractions that made connecting with the characters and plot impossible. Not even the kids will understand what is happening, so prepare yourself to pause the movie frequently as you stumble through explanation after explanation. The ending seemed completely contrived and self-serving. As the film concluded I sat back and wished I had chosen a better use for 2+ hours of my life. It wasn't horrible, but it was pointless and a waste of time.

World War Z (2013)

Is that a cheap blu-ray I see in my future?

[8/10 · 30 June 2013]

Alright, I'll admit it. It's easy for me to put my brain on pause when watching zombie flicks. I pretty much love them all. I'm not picky. Throw in a few great actors and high dollar budget, and I'm in hog heaven.

As far as WWZ goes, this is a quality movie. Good acting. Good characters. High quality cinema. It will most definitely not appeal to everyone. Some will complain about camera shake (valid). Others will say that it moved too fast (valid). Still many will tell you that it was too far off from the book (valid), it's too improbable (valid), the zombies weren't as cool as other zombies (valid), valid, valid and valid. They are all right. But if you are like me, IT'S A FREAKING ZOMBIE MOVIE - and a pretty good one at that. Just be glad Hollywood put a ton of money into something like this and gave us something good to look at.

There will be better movies of this genre in the future to be sure. But this goes into my collection as soon as it hits blu-ray. And if most people don't like it, great. That's will just drive the blu-ray cost down. Supply and demand is an awesome thing.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

No good enough ... not nearly good enough!

[6/10 · 9 January 2013]

I don't think I can trust IMDb anymore. Honestly there is no way this is a 8.7 film. None. It was way too long. The acting was mediocre at best. The dialogue was OK - but had me cringing frequently. The guy can fly an advanced fighter with zero training? The villain isn't really that bad of a guy once you learn his background. The opening scenes try to dazzle with amazing CGI - but it all seems so forced, as if trying too hard to be cutting edge. The Dark Night was such a good flick that it is unfair to compare it to this one. But compare we must. And, of course, they don't. 8.7 is a joke. 6.7? OK, that's about right. I do look forward to the next one...but not as desperately as I looked forward to this one.

Project X (2012)

The perfect movie for the Obama voter

[2/10 · 16 August 2012]

This was the most nonsensical collection if idiotic claptrap that I have ever witnessed.

This is not a movie. This is prepubescent mindless randomness completely devoid of any humor whatsoever. It's mean, ugly and stupid.

I normally would not rate trash like this. To rate & review it gives it credence. It has none.

Listen, I knew what I was getting into when I plopped the cash down at the theater. I knew it was going to be dumb. I just can't believe how dumb it actually was. The notion that somebody actually invested money in this trash scares me.

I'm sure there are plenty of Obama voters out there that love it, however.

Chronicle (2012)

A disappointed optimist

[4/10 · 29 June 2012]

I'm an optimist. The reviews for this movie were all over the place. I wanted to believe the good ones. I was hoping the plethora of bad reviews were just lame attempts to drive the rating score down. I was wrong.

The premise was intriguing to me, even if it wasn't original. But the execution failed on several levels.

The characters were not likable. They were just hormonal idiots. That's the fatal flaw. The nonsensical ways these fools use their new powers just makes you shake your head.

Imagine you have these new powers and abilities. What would you do with that? Think about all of the great things you could accomplish. Instead we are lead down a road of violence and murder. The screen writing was weak. A great premise wasted.

Here's a question for you: You need money because your mom is dying. You have super powers of levitation and strength. Do you: A. Grab some ATMs and get the money you need or, B. Rob a convenience store and get shot?

I hate movies that have promise that deliver so very little. In this case, I did not get my $1.25 value from this movie rental.

The Road (I) (2009)

A dreadful masterpiece

[9/10 · 17 May 2012]

First off, you know you are going to watch this movie, so go ahead and get it over with. Stop putting it off.

I warn you, it won't be fun.

You will be left with an empty hole in the middle of your gut.

You won't be able to get this out of your head. It was two years ago when I watched it and I still struggle with some of the scenes. You'll know what I mean when you see it.

This is a real as it gets. It's ugly and beautiful. It's utterly depressing and unbelievably realistic and razor sharp.

There's no sense in wasting time trying to describe this dreadful masterpiece. If apocalyptic movies float your boat, this one is the sail on the biggest ship on that ocean. Good luck.

Wyatt Earp (1994)

Inferior to Tombstone

[4/10 · 17 May 2012]

I'll just say this to get it out of the way. This movie is inferior to Tombstone.

We rented this on Blu-ray thinking it would be a masterful classic, one that we would love so much that we would eventually have go out and buy it.

It was clear in the first five minutes that the movie was trying way too hard. For example, the score was maddening. Every single sequence (no matter how utterly insignificant) had dramatic orchestral background music over and over and over without a break. You know, a decent movie doesn't need an orchestra constantly playing to keep the viewers attention. This reminded me of the old silent movies where someone played a piano live in the theater throughout the film to help dramatize the silent events on the screen. It did not help this film, trust me.

Secondly, you are constantly teased with the end of the movie, only to find out that you have to endure more and more face time with Costner. By the end of the movie you are more or less sick and tired of looking at him.

I was sorely disappointed in the Doc Holiday and Kate characters. uninteresting, unlikable, contrived and again, the acting seemed noticeably forced.

This movie felt extremely long-winded and more a statement of Costner's ego than an entertaining reproduction of historical importance. It was really hard to sit through this whole thing and all four of us kept laughing about how it should go ahead and end for God's sake.

Tombstone, by comparison, was very tight, entertaining and generally interesting with much better acting and vastly more interesting characters.

The Darkest Hour (2011)

The Dullest Hour

[5/10 · 14 May 2012]

Me, the wife, and our two kids struggled to get through this piece of claptrap. The character development was hardly there. The monsters were scary, if invisible monsters scare you. The characters were both moronic and unbelievable. The CGI was questionable at best. I take that back. It was horrible. The monsters actually made my kids laugh. The speed of the movie was inconsistent mostly, and doggedly slow the rest of the time. The ending was pure idiocy. Pin a medal on your chest if you can stick through this to the end. You might want to have a good book or magazine handy though. I wanted to disbelieve the reviews when we rented this on Blu-ray. I'm an optimist. This time - at least - they were right on the mark. 5 out of 10 ... and that's being generous.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

7.5 My Derriere!!!

[5/10 · 14 May 2012]

There is no way this movie rates a 7.5. If boring and rehashed MI sequences with moderately acceptable CGI is all you want out of a movie, then OK. Admit it. Not I. I was hoping for a couple of laughs. I did. It was laughably boorish. Tom Cruise sleepwalked through his scenes. You could just sense that he was only in it for the money. What happened to you Tom? Honestly, if this is the best Hollywood can produce, seriously sad times are awaiting these companies. I'm glad I only dropped $1.50 at a RedBox for this. Can't imagine taking the family to the theater and spending $45 on this garbage. And IMDb? 7.5? I think your rating system is broken.

Courageous (I) (2011)

Are you man enough to take it, fathers?

[9/10 · 25 January 2012]

I rented this movie because I wanted a decent movie with a good message for Friday movie night in my house.

I will tell you that my whole family was immediately glued to the screen.

This film is about fathers, not cops, so let's get that straight right away. How will you, as a father, serve and lead your family? How will you raise your daughter and your son? How can you console your wife? How do you help your partner who has strayed off course? The messages and scenarios are real, and the delivery is razor sharp.

Be prepared fathers, because this is more than entertainment. You will be taken out of your comfort zone and forced to realize, accept and build upon your weaknesses (and strengths). So be warned. This movie is not for fathers who are wimps.

There was only one scene where I thought the acting was slightly over the top. The rest was 100% solid and absolutely believable for my whole family.

At the end of the movie, we spent some time as a family recovering from the emotional roller-coaster, and then we had our usual discussion about what we saw. I was utterly impressed with what my children came away with.

If you want a solidly entertaining movie with a wide variety of real-life good messages for your family, your son and your daughter, this movie is for you. If you are looking for boob shots, profanity and murder, I think you already know to move along.

Margin Call (2011)

Made me realize how little I know about Walstreet

[6/10 · 2 January 2012]

This was a good flick. Great actors and interesting scenarios. I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about such things as stock, bonds, mutual funds and the general processes surrounding securities and exchange. But it was clear from the very beginning of the movie that my knowledge wasn't up to par.

In order to keep up with all that is happening, significant technical knowledge goes a long way. I am thinking this movie isn't really for the masses, but rather those with a keen interest in this kind of stuff.

Anyhow, the big climax I was waiting for didn't really materialize. And there were a few moments where I had the distinct impression that I wasn't the only one in the dark.

This was a good film. Worth watching if you are in to this kind of stuff. Otherwise I can imagine quite a few people will be bored out of their minds if they didn't know what they were getting in to.

Larry Crowne (2011)

Excellent feel good movie in a sea of mediocrity.

[8/10 · 30 December 2011]

By now, you've already read the plot: Middle-aged single guy loses job at U-Mart, sells his stuff and goes back to college, where sparks fly between him and his professor.

There's nothing massively entertaining in this, until you consider who you are watching. Tom Hanks can make drying paint seem fascinating. His supporting cast is absolutely terrific. The scenarios are both interesting and funny. All of us thoroughly enjoyed the movie from start to finish.

The true test of a movie in our house is what happens when it is over. If the kids go right to bed, it's a stinker. But if the kids put up a huge fight and demand to watch it again, you've got a winner.

...And yes, we watched it again. My son said, "Dad, it's amazing all of the stuff you miss when you watch it the first time." I had to agree.

Trust me, this is good, quality entertainment for the whole family and you won't be disappointed. If you're looking for explosions, fart jokes and boob shots, look elsewhere.

Water for Elephants (2011)

I'm not running away, I'm coming home.

[8/10 · 5 December 2011]

Water for Elephants was a real surprise for me.

Set in the 1930s traveling circus era, we are treated with some very good acting and a completely believable plot.

I was particularly impressed that my daughter, who is 11, at first wanted nothing to do with the film. But then she sat down and was completely engrossed within minutes. I found the movie a little edgy, but mostly appropriate for her age. There was no significant foul language and only one brief sex scene that made her wince, even though there was no nudity.

I was also impressed that the story delivered several good themes relating to personal character, treatment of animals, relationships, domestic abuse, perseverance, etc. A few scenes were hard to watch (brutality to animals), but triggered some decent family conversation afterward.

This is a solidly entertaining movie with some very tight acting by all parties, excellent scenery, superb direction and a wonderful message at the end.

I completely recommend this for an enthralling trip back in time. The kids will like the animals while the adults enjoy a little romance.

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

I loved it ... but the wife hated it.

[7/10 · 5 December 2011]

I rented this movie thinking I would score big points in selecting a funny, romantic movie on the night of my wife's 43rd birthday.

She ended up not liking it, but I, on the other hand, thought it was a hoot. So, guys, don't be surprised if you end of sleeping on the couch after renting this one for your date or significant other.

This film represents the romantic changes and challenges we face as we mature.

Seen from all perspectives (15-year old boy, 18 year old girl, 20-something bachelor, 40-something parents), you come away bewildered at the complexities of love, marriage and relationships in general.

How do we marry and keep it fresh after so many years? How does a career bachelor finally find true love? How does a boy express feelings about his babysitter? How do we know we are with the right companion? I liked this film because it touched a nerve with me, and spoke certain truths that I hadn't considered before.

My wife, on the other hand, couldn't get past the multiple triangles of relationship building (especially amongst the younger characters), and I think checked out mentally before she should have.

This is a quality piece of work with some solid acting, character development and a few surprises at the end. Oh yeah, it's pretty darn funny too.

Hereafter (2010)

Eastwood and Damon get it done!

[7/10 · 2 December 2011]

Leave it to Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon to take a pretty weak premise and deliver the goods.

There's not a lot done in this movie that we haven't seen before in countless other films. Fortunately for us it is done very well and it is well worth revisiting.

This movie is a slice of life from a variety of perspectives, with a little clairvoyance thrown in for good measure. It speaks to loss, love, denial, loyalty, and betrayal.

It is solidly entertaining with just the right mixture of sadness and triumph for which we all yearn.

I can honestly say that if I had known what this movie was about, I probably would not have rented it. But now I know Clint Eastwood can take a worn out old shoe and make it look like new. I'm definitely a fan.

My Life in Ruins (2009)

"I'm not a god. That's just a rumor my mother started."

[7/10 · 21 November 2011]

So we all know it's a challenge to find a decent movie these days that is entertaining and appropriate for a 7-year old boy and 11-year old girl, while also compelling enough for a couple of 40-something parents. It's tough folks, and you know it is.

I had my doubts when we sat down for this one. I especially had my doubts for the first 20 minutes as the characters and plot were building. Then it all kind of clicked for me and the whole family. We thoroughly enjoyed it. No, it wasn't "Close Encounters" good ... but it was pretty decent and had some excellent laughs throughout.

There were only a two very minor (and quick) scenes not quite appropriate for a 7-year old. But there was no profanity and no nudity. So what's left, you ask? How could we possibly survive without blood & guts, foul language and nakedness? Simple: Good acting, fun characters, Richard Dreyfuss, and a little romance as icing on the cake.

I recommend this movie to any family looking for a night of cuddling up and enjoying a family appropriate movie without the fear of what the next scene will hold.

The Tree of Life (2011)

So much promise, so little delivery.

[4/10 · 21 November 2011]

I must be honest. The high rating of this movie on IMDb, and the great actors, provoked me to rent it for the family. I just KNEW I had a winner.

As the movie started, I was impressed by the direction and camera work. It was dreamy, beautiful and immersive.

After about 10 minutes, though, it started to get on my nerves. The lack of dialogue and the fancy camera work in every single disjointed scene really started to aggravate me and the family.

At the 15 minute mark we all got sick and tired of waiting for something to happen. The lead-in was taking way too long. What very little dialogue there was ... well it was impossible to hear. Was it background whisperings of a ghost or something? We had to constantly pump the volume up and then back it back down. Irritating doesn't describe it.

I suppose we should have waited longer for the movie to kick in. But we just couldn't take it any longer.

It was just too artsy for us, and therefore a wretched flop. So much for good actors and high ratings on IMDb. Picking a movie is a lot more challenging these days.

We bailed at about the 17 minute mark

Bereavement (2010)

Concentrated Dreck.

[30 September 2011]

When you go to a horror movie, you expect one basic thing: to be scared. This movie does not deliver.

Not only does it not deliver in the "scare me" department, but the scenes are so utterly ridiculous, the acting so insanely over the top, and the direction so pitifully bad that I had to walk out at the 3/4 mark of the film. It's just really bad on all levels. It's so bad that it's not even worth watching just to see how bad it is.

I can forgive a lot when I go to movies these day (they do seem to be going down hill), but this one is not worth watching for any amount of money. And if it were free, I'd rather watch Madea's Big Happy Family.

The Beaver (2011)

Watch it once ... then never again.

[8/10 · 30 September 2011]

Give it to Mel Gibson. The man can act. He is one of the best and does not disappoint.

I rented this simply because I couldn't take the curiosity any longer. I had no idea what it was about.

Every performance here is solid and believable and deep.

The movie is about depression. So don't be surprised if you are left feeling ... depressed. I was. The movie concluded with an upbeat feel, but left me yearning for more.

This is one of those movies that, well, you watched it; you knew you had to - kind of like Schindler's List - then you put it away to never visit it again because you know the emotional pain that it delivers.

Limitless (I) (2011)

"It works better if you are smart to begin with."

[8/10 · 23 August 2011]

Did you ever watch a film that just surprises the heck out of you? I rented this movie without knowing the first thing about it. At 15 minutes I was completely engrossed.

How can you not fall in love with the concept of a pill that makes you smart and successful? The pace of the movie is fast. The story is occasionally implausible (for example I don't believe that one can fight well based on a lesson from the History Channel), but we can forgive that because the acting is razor sharp and mostly believable.

Overall this is a solid trip through the looking glass. What is your potential if you could unlock 100% of your brainpower? What If such a drug existed? How many people would kill for it? This movie explores these and other possibilities. It's definitely worth a watch. And your date will like it too. Guaranteed.