Penguins of Madagascar (2014)
Benedict Cumberbatch: Classified
Photos
Quotes
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Classified : Remain calm, penguins. You're now under the protection of the North Wind.
Skipper : Private, dibble me.
[Private takes a dibble bag out of Rico's body, gives it to Skipper, then he jumps in front of Classified]
Skipper : We're not going anywhere with you.
[munches]
Skipper : We don't even know who the heck you are.
Classified : The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-spe...
[Skipper munches]
Classified : an elite undercover inter-species...
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : task for...
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : force...
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : dedicated to help...
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : to help...
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : dedicated to...
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : dedicated to helping animals who can't
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : help
[Skipper munches again]
Classified : themselves.
[Skipper munches again for the last time, then Classified growls]
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Skipper : Debbie!
Kowalski : Dave.
Skipper : Dave!
Corporal : He hacked into our system.
[There's no sound onscreen as Dave speaks]
Eva : Where's the sound?
Kowalski : Dave, your microphone, it's not on.
Classified : Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.
Short Fuse : Every time a villain calls in, this happens.
Dave : Hello?
[the screen goes off]
Dave : Hello?
Kowalski : But, now we can hear you.
Short Fuse : So annoying!
Kowalski : But we cannot see.
Short Fuse : Every time!
Classified : It's like talking to my parents.
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Classified : Short Fuse, you were supposed to handcuff them to the raft!
Short Fuse : I tried, but they don't have hands, they just have flippers, Boss! And I have flippers. So it's flipping useless!
-
Classified : What is that?
[they see numerous painful weapons as they are going to be killed on the ride]
Classified : Oh, great.
Short Fuse : Oh, no! This it it!
Corporal : I don't wanna die, I'm squishy!
[before they are killed by one of the weapons, the ride stops and goes reverse to see Private knocked out the squid controlling the ride]
Classified : OH NO, WE'RE DEAD! DEAD! DEAAAAAAAAAAD!
Private : [to the North Wind team] I pushed a button!
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Classified : Just tell me everything you know.
Skipper : All right!
[Inaudible word]
Skipper : Never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.
Classified : [taking notes] Tulip fight...
Skipper : Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.
Classified : Sasquatch...
Skipper : Hot dogs are, in fact, only 17% actual dog.
Classified : [exasperated] Not everything-everything! Everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine...
Skipper : Aaaah! Why didn't you say so?
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Classified : We are the North Wind, and no one, NO ONE, breaks the Wind.
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Classified : What you, of course, could not know is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called: the Medusa Serum.
Skipper : Ah! But what you don't know is that Dirk...
Kowalski : Dave.
Skipper : Dave, wont be using his Bazooka Serum...
Kowalski : Medusa Serum.
Skipper : Medusa Serum on anybody!
Kowalski : That part is accurate.
Skipper : Show 'em, Rico.
[Rico regurgitates the canister of Medusa Serum onto the table. Skipper stands triumphantly over it]
Classified : [shocked] You... you stole the Medusa Serum?
Skipper : Well, stole the serum. Saved the day. Did your job for you. Call it what you will.
-
Dave : [fixes the video connection] How about now?
Private : Hurray!
Classified : Yes! Way to go, looks fantastic!
Dave : Excellent! Now, where was I?
[laughs maniacally]
Kowalski : Dave!
Short Fuse : Grrrr!
Dave : Greetings, North Wind. I see you've met my old zoo-mates.
Skipper : We were never "mates." There was no mating.
Classified : Turn yourself in, David. You are powerless now that I have stolen your precious Medusa Serum.
Skipper : What? You didn't steal that!
Classified : It's over.
Dave : It's over?
[mock-confusion]
Dave : Then... why did I call you? Wierd. OH! Maybe it was to show you *this*!
[turns camera to reveal a large vat of Medusa Serum]
Kowalski : [collective gasp from everyone] That is a lot of serum for four penguins.
Dave : Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No, no-no-no-no. We're just getting started.
[takes a selfie]
Dave : Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... FOR REVENGE!
[hits button, buzzer sounds. hits button again, same result]
Dave : Wait. How do you...?
Squid : [gurgles instructions]
Dave : What do I push?
Squid : [points and gurgles]
Dave : Is it the red, or...
Squid 2 : [points, gurgles, and slaps own head in frustration]
Dave : I thought it was... it's not this -
[screen goes black]
-
Skipper : If you won't work with us, you better work for us. Our plan requires a diversion.
Classified : I give the orders around here and as much as it pains me to say this, I need you to act as the die-version for our operation, understood?
Skipper : No. This is our plan and it requires you to cause a diversion!
Classified : Die-version.
Skipper : Deh-version.
Classified : Die!
Skipper : Deh!
[Skipper and Classified continue arguing pronouncing diversion; Eva lands in front of them]
Eva : Gentlemen. There's only one way to resolve this.
Kowalski : We should kiss.
Eva : Plan-off.
Kowalski : Yep. Plan-off. That's what I was gonna say. Plan-off...