- Martin: What is wrong with a man wanting his wife and his wife's best friend to lick his dick at the same time?
- Judy, aka Girl 6: Baby, let me tell you something. You can continue to live in your little fantasy world with your baseball cards and the autographed bullshit or whatever the fuck is it you do, but me, I got to eat and pay the rent. Phone sex is acting, and if you don't like it, you can step.
- Jimmy: Fuck you, you know, at least I got Willie Mays and Hank Aaron's autograph on a baseball card, you know, they're in the hall of fame.
- Scary Caller #30: How can a slut be beautiful? The Mona Lisa is beautiful, the Statue of Liberty is beautiful, the Grand Canyon, the first day of spring, a new fallen snow-that's beauty, but a slut is just slutty, right?
- Caller 4: I'm going to mount you Snoopy Doggy Dogg style, housewife.
- Girl 6: I can't think...
- Acting Coach: AHH! Drop into the pain. Drop. into. the pain.
- [Low voice]
- Acting Coach: Drop into the pain.
- Girl 6: I can't think straight!
- Acting Coach: Acting is about doing and feelings! Drop into the pain!
- Acting Coach: Now, let's add a sensorial element of shit. The pain stinks. Ooh, it stinks, it stinks. Smell it. There you go. Now. Right through there, right through there, speak.
- Acting Coach: [shouts] What do you mean 'what'? What do you mean 'what'? Where is the pain?
- [mocks Girl 6's acting performance]
- Acting Coach: Come on! It needs a bottom! Where's the bottom? What's this shallow shit? A bottom? No!